Baskets Case

Tears of a clown..Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

I’m back in the Central Market Café.. It’s chilly and overcast outside, possibly about to rain. I’m eating a strawberry goat cheese muffin and drinking Guatemalan coffee with inflections of apple and vanilla. It took me 10 minutes to park, and their express checkout lines are 35 people deep. I think what we might need, HEB, is some more of these places. A team of Spanish soccer players just sat behind me.. the people-watching here is without equal.

JOB

My job has become incredibly busy. I volunteered for a “bleeding edge” technology assignment and I’m getting the expected pandemonium from that. Am hoping that we get things back on an even keel before too long.

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

For some reason, February has become a month for major series and movie premieres. We have a new Cohen Brothers movie (Hail Caesar) and a new Zoolander movie. TV is giving us the OJ Trial (FX’s American Crime Story), and a new X Files with the original writers and actors at their paranormal best. NBC is giving us an incredible British-American ensemble with You, Me and the Apocalypse. Its far-fetched premise still lands upon genuine pathos and humor.

The little show that has grabbed me completely, is a half hour FX comedy titled Baskets. It stars Zach Galifianakis as a failed clown, Chip Baskets, who has to move back in with his portly mother in Bakersfield, California. His mother is played with credibility and hilarity by male stand-up comedian Louis Anderson. With muumuu and wig, Anderson could easily play his own mom – maybe yours or mine too.

Chip is dogged by his much more successful twin brother Dale, also played by Galifianakis. Dale is a smarmy businessman who’s moderately successful life coaching center has outshined the unfortunate Chip. Among other indignities, Chip is married to a French beauty who loves him not – she only married him for a green card. She teases him with her scantily clad body, making it clear it is look but don’t touch.

Chip engages as a rodeo clown where there is basically no minimum standard. The manager lets him know that it’s a tiny wage with a high risk of injury. Anyone willing to make that wager is hired. Chip takes the job, but with the drawback of having to live at home.

Last but not least is Martha, the dull, plain Jane insurance adjuster who has come to nurture a crush on Chip. She drives him around in her Olds Cierra, helping him in his various attempts to win back his wife (that he never had) and to otherwise establish a modicum of his self-respect. Martha and Chip’s mother together create the surreal gravity that holds this weird universe together.

Coming from the house of dysfunction myself, I love how the freaky is oddly familiar. I love that laugh-out-loud moments might immediately be followed by a moment of sad reflection and introspection.

I also enjoy Chip’s complete inability to see himself, his marriage, his family, his career choice or Martha in any accurate light. His delusions carry each episode on gilded wings to the next ridiculous situation. The long-suffering Martha picks him up off the floor.. and so we go again. If you have FX on cable, please make it a point to see this wonderful show. It only has 8 episodes for season 1 and there’s no guarantee of a season 2 – see it while you can.

© 2016 Snillor Productions

Four Days in LA

Bryan on Hollywood Blvd.. Picture by Trevor Snillor

SUNDAY
We are having a gorgeous 70 degree day outside. Just completed my 3 mile hike at White Rock, and now feel the need to catch up on my blog. I have several topics in queue but today I’ll talk about my Halloween trip to LA.

Los Angeles 3rd Time Around

In 1984, I visited LA for a weekend vacation following a job interview. I took a Star Line tour and visited a couple of night clubs.. I was inebriated most of that trip, but recall that I liked it and vowed to return. I returned in 2009 with my friend Eric, some 25 years later and sober (but not as serious) as a judge. It was an enjoyable trip, although we didn’t extend our scope much beyond Hollywood and Venice Beach. I caught a bad cold on that trip so the fun was curtailed.

We came back (Eric, my brother Bryan and I) for Halloween week, 2015. We stayed at the Dixie Hollywood on a slightly down-scale block of Hollywood Blvd, but the experience was great again.

We did standard tourist things: Hollywood Walk of Fame, Grauman’s Chinese Theater, Paramount Studio Tour and Hollywood Celebrity Cemetery. I must say that Lucille Ball’s star on the Walk of Fame deserves better than its location near Pep Boys and a homeless shelter. Paramount Studios made me realize what a shallow sham our TV shows are… I wanted to believe that Cheers was filmed in a Boston pub. It is amazing what illusions (even in recent sci-fi) can be effected on a small studio set.

We looked at the Brady Bunch house near Studio City. It’s nicely maintained and I can only imagine that the current inhabitants are annoyed by the tourists snapping pictures all day. Shame on us! The owners might consider making it a museum tour – “This is where Greg took a puff.. This is where Marcia was hit by a football”.

We explored Laurel Canyon, Mulholland Drive (don’t drive there drunk at night), UCLA and Century City. LA is such an awesome sprawl that there are still many things we didn’t touch on: Universal City, Disneyland, the Tate-La Bianca houses, an updated Star Line tour. I honestly think the city is large and lively enough to justify a couple more visits.

We checked out the wacky Venice Beach and also the LA Farmers Market which is actually a luxuriant shopping mall with an eclectic open air food court attached. We looked at one of the few brick-and-mortar CB2 stores which has cool housewares at cooler affordable prices. We priced Hollywood real estate and marveled at how Dallas prices are catching up. On the whole, we had lots of fun doing a variety of things.

Conclusion

My travel companions and I pulled off a trip without having a fight or an argument – that in itself is pretty amazing. Maybe we’re just getting too old and the fire is gone. I doubt that we’ve matured that much. LA is fantastic if you’re star-struck like me. Also, the late October weather was near perfect with azure skies and highs in the low 80’s. If you want a fun, exciting place to vacation in an urban location you can hardly beat La La Land. I took about 100 digital photos, not one of which have I posted, printed or labeled. That should be a forthcoming activity if I ever catch up at work. These could a visual enticement to what awaits in Hollywood Land.

© 2015 Snillor Productions

50 Shades of Silly

Forbidden Love - Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

by Trebor Snillor

This week we’re having typical Texas roller coaster weather. 78 degrees yesterday and 30 degrees tomorrow. It’s a nippy 53 right now, as we make that transition. My house is in complete disarray as my kitchen gets rebuilt. I must learn patience which has never been one of my shining qualities. Now, on to our topic.

50 Shades of Grey (spoiler alert)

To avoid getting in the way of workmen at my house, I went to see 50 Shades the first day it came out, 2/13/2015. This move has recently been done to death by critics and social media, so I’ll offer my entire movie-going experience – not just a review of the movie itself.

I thought that AMC 15 would be swarming with people, even on the matinee but it wasn’t. The theater was maybe 30% full – probably still a good headcount for a weekday matinee. I thought I’d be the only man and was surprised to see a lot of other guys. It was probably 60% women, 40% men. There were many couples and quite a few older people.

50 Shades is a romance movie, of sorts. A wealthy handsome business titan, Christian Grey, sets his sights on sweet demure Anastasia Steele. He wants her not as a wife or a girlfriend but as a sex slave. The premise is one of “forbidden love” – it alternately reminded me of Brokeback Mountain or Looking for Mr. Good Bar.

Having seen a few S&M videos before (by happenstance rest assured) I wasn’t sure what to expect. The S&M scenes in this movie were lame and tame by practically any measure. This was S&M sanitized and softened for the tastes of suburban women’s book clubs. Anastasia was in no real danger. I found myself laughing sometimes nervously and then later deliberately because of unintentional humor. The whole audience giggled inappropriately all throughout the movie. It seemed like a women’s soft-core porno building slowly to its peak -- pardon the orgasmic wording.

It’s interesting that feminist females and right-wing chauvinist men are oddly in full agreement – they feel that movies like this are the “downfall of civilization”. The women are exploited like chattel! But Madonna and Miley have informed us across the years – it’s not exploitation if the woman chooses it. She might just really be kinky and wild. One of a modern woman’s options is to be as chaste or as chased as she wants to be. The rule is really that there are no rules. So everybody chill and put your judgments away.

In this particular movie, Anastasia is a sweet, virginal lamb – falling for an emotionally blocked wolf. She ultimately decides she has no taste for whips and chains. In fact, as the movie draws to the end it seems that Anastasia is breaking Christian out of his S&M delusions and bringing him into the world of real feeling and emoting.

Was this a great movie? Absolutely not. Even the characters’ names sound cheesy and made up like something from a XXX grind house. Would I recommend this movie? Absolutely! It was unintentionally hilarious. If you have some fun friends who enjoy double entendres and silliness you will be able to laugh it up together. This movie entertains us with guilty pleasure and naughtiness. If you have a spare two hours – it’s worth the price of admission.

© 2015 Snillor Productions

Mi Cocina and Me

Aiming for this, will we get there? - Pic courtesy of Trebor

by Trebor Snillor

Today

Today we’re having blue sky and temps in the low 60’s. Everyone is energized including me. I’ve already shopped at Trader Joe’s and dropped off several items at Goodwill. Who knows what other momentous things might happen?

Mi Cocina

I’m a little bit nervous because I just contracted to have my whole kitchen gutted and replaced with a new, modern kitchen. Mind you: I’ve lived with the current kitchen for 24 years -- it is the original 1945 kitchen. The cabinet wood is so old, it’s splitting up the middle. Rats have found an opening from the crawl space and visit my cabinet interior at night. I have ONE, count’em one drawer for utensils. The time is right for a refresh.

But add to this – I’m a very private person who doesn’t like strangers in my house. The schedule is set for a long 7 week period to demolish and rebuild the one room. My neighbors will love the giant Pod that gets parked on my curb – my street is already narrow and lacking space for curb parking.

My fridge and microwave will move probably to the dining room while the remodel takes place. I’ll be eating off Chinette plates and tossing food in the trash. What’s not to love?? The aforementioned nightmare of logistics is why I put it off for almost one quarter of a century.

Never Again

Never again will I buy “this old house”. I want new, newish or old that’s already been completely remodeled. I was never gung-ho about remodeling, and this experience has reinforced that feeling. A crumbling old house can give you access to a close-in neighborhood for a bargain price – that it did. But it’s a deal with El Diablo as you confront a leaky roof, drafty rooms, creepy cabinets, no insulation, doors that stick and .. (Shall I go on?). I’m also not particularly handy with a hammer or a drill. I’m as likely to do a lot of damage as I am to fix something. I pay contractors out the wazoo to save my property from the damage my hands might do. The sum total of my practical knowledge is “Right Tighty Lefty Loosie”. That does not bode well for do-it-yourself.

The Two Doug’s

I’m reminded of the “two Doug’s” who revamped their kitchen in North Dallas. “It was so easy” they said as I looked at the appallingly misaligned tiles. It looked like it was done by a child or a chimp – either one grown bored of finger painting and looking for other free-form expression. I might ask, what is the point of do-it-yourself if it looks like crap? You saved a few dollars and have a standing monument to your own inadequacy. There are apprenticeships and trade schools for a reason – nothing is as easy as it looks. Stick to your day job people!

I Digress

My new kitchen is supposed to have maple cabinets, quartz counters, porcelain tile and new stainless appliances. It all remains to be seen.. When I had a garage built 10 years ago the contractor and I very nearly came to blows in the front yard. He had forgotten a detail in the contract and I was seeing red. We got around that issue but were wary of each other from that point. Circling distrust is not a good vantage point with a contractor.

Drawing a Conclusion

I will try to maintain peace and civility this time around. I will look forward to the new kitchen. And as God is my witness I will never, ever buy a crumbling old house again!

© 2015 Snillor Productions

Thoroughly Modern Technology

My new cellular security system - Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
I like to think of myself as a gadget-freak early adaptor. I have iPods, iPhones and iPads out the wazoo. I’ve been a pioneer on various things (blogging, paypal, web 2.0) and yet there are ways in which I’m woefully behind. This woefulness can be attributed to several (primarily middle-aged) things ..
o Cheapness -- I abhor new monthly fees or paying for unused services
o Sales rep aversion -- Don’t want to deal with obnoxious people who try to upsell me on everything
o Laziness -- Don't want to deal with estimates or installations

So how far behind am I? Until today, I still had a landline security system. I still have a landline telephone from 1991. I still have basic, analog cable with low resolution. I have DSL for the Internet -- speedtest.com gives me a D+ for the speed grade. How did I get to this sad, low-tech state? I might as well be using a 386 computer with Windows 95. A blinking VCR would round it out.

Back in 2005, I was still using AOL dial-up and only a landline phone (no cellular). That year, I installed DSL and purchased a RAZR cell phone -- thought I’d moved onto a plane of technological superiority. I neglect to mention that by 2005, dial-up was down for the count -- I had to be among the last of the dial-up Mohicans. People I knew that were liberal arts mavens were blazing techie trails all around me. People who had no particular interest in gadgets were out-gadgeting me.

Now we fast-foward to 2013... DSL is passe -- probably on its last legs. Landline phones are expected to be phased completely out by 2030. Everything changes and we have to get with the program. Some things make a comeback like vinyl records and Danish Modern furniture, to be sure. But some things fall into the well of antiquity -- hi-fis, console TV’s, rotary phones, typewriters. To have it as anything but a retro-collector item makes you look like the world-weary, elderly uncle waiting for Godot.

In a final analysis I’m a technophile who has exhibited technophobic tendencies. Now that I upgraded my security system I’m free to upgrade the rest. I have every confidence that fiber optic, cable, satellite and cellular toys that we love today will succumb to staleness later on. I can see an incredulous young relative circa 2024... WHAT? You still have fiber optic?

At that point, I might not be such a slave to trends, and I just won't give a flip. …I can show my young relative my Apple II computer or my 1999 iBook that still boots. Welcome to my museum of arcane artifacts. By 2024, my old stuff will help to put new things in context.

But for now I’m young enough to be influenced by peer pressure, advertising and gadget envy. How dare the neighbor across the street ace me out with 300 hi-def channels, lightening fast internet and digital phone ?? The nerve! It's time for me to get with the program. :-)

© 2013 blogSpotter

Accelerated Laughter

An all-star comedy lineup - Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter

A NEW TV PARADIGM

This year’s Emmy Awards has a unique feature – 3 nominated TV shows (Hemlock Grove, House of Cards and Arrested Development) are products of Netflix, the streaming Internet TV service. It marks a turning point, both cultural and technological, where a popular series is not offered on a cable or network schedule. For $8.65/month anyone with a broadband connection and a Roku device can see these shows; they can be viewed at one’s convenience – all in one sitting or whenever the mood strikes.

Speaking only for myself – I love Netflix. I resisted it for years, not wanting another monthly service charge but that was very wrong about that.. Netflix offers a huge library of independent movies, hit TV shows and original programming for a pretty tiny fee. HBO or SHOWTIME are pricey by comparison with much less for offerings.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

I watched a couple of episodes of Arrested Development back in 2003. Have to confess I thought it was quirky and weird – I didn’t key into the humor and quit watching. Now 10 years later I’m watching it from the beginning and am a “fan boy” of the show. My conclusions of this (and some other shows too):
1) You need to at least see the pilot episode which introduces the characters and lays the ground work.
2) Arrested Development uses inside jokes and self-referencing humor that rewards viewers who’ve watched all along (and mystifies late-comers who miss an inside remark).

How do I love this show? It came along in 2003 well after Seinfeld and Family Guy. It borrows a bit from each of these – with zany complex, inter-weaving plots like Seinfeld and cut-away jokes a la Family Guy. It adds an overlay of new nuttiness; it portrays the severely dysfunctional riches-to-rags Bluth family where every single adult is in some state of mental agitation. The Bluths are alternately trapped in loveless marriages, imprisoned for felonies, estranged, suspended in adolescence, evincing neurotic personality disorders or lusting for money that is no more.

Arrested Development showcases the talents of guest stars like Henry Winkler and Liza Minnelli. It also has given exposure to stars-in-waiting like Jane Lynch and Bob Odenkirk.. it’s a virtual turnstile of comic genius. Most of the stars are fairly thick-skinned as the roles they play may have fun with the actors’ own previous careers. The show veers wickedly between campy humorous unreality and real-world situations and news stories.

Probably my two favorite characters are Tobias (David Cross) and Gob (Will Arnett). They are complete loons who are willing to look absolutely silly. In doing so, they sell their personas completely and compel me to fall off the couch laughing. The other characters are no slouches either.. The “chicken dance” in which various people try to dance like a chicken is now the stuff of legend.

I won’t divulge anything else – if you have Roku, Netflix and a wicked sense of humor please avail yourself of this wonderful show. You won’t be sorry.

© 2013 blogSpotter

Weighing Arnold

He's baaack- Picture courtesy of Simon & Schuster

by blogSpotter

This week, I'm listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger's memoir, Total Recall -- abridged version. I have to say, it's a success story like very few others. His life is fascinating and covers a lot of territory; I'll try to condense it some. I'm only about 2/3 through it, so the shenanigans with the maid aren’t covered here...

Arnold was born in a small Austrian village right after World War II. His father was a police chief and part-time band leader. He was also a former Nazi officer although there were no ties to death camps or particularly nasty Nazi-related affairs. The Schwarzeneggers lived a very humble existence in an old house that lacked flush toilets or running water. Arnold was buoyant, cocky and athletic from day one -- his poor family could hardly deter him.

Arnold became infatuated with body building from looking at a few muscle magazines and seeing Tarzan movies in nearby Gratz. He began body-building in earnest at age 14 and made his way into central European contests that were hosted in Munich. At this point, Arnold’s career took an improbable trajectory that was made possible by his incredible sunny attitude and unbelievable self-confidence.

Arnold made these promises to himself at a young adult age -- he kept every one of them:

• I will be a millionaire by age 30 
• I will win the Mr. Universe and Mr. World bodybuilding competitions 
• I will be not only a Hollywood actor, I will be a top-paid lead actor 
• I will become a naturalized American citizen and run for public office 
• I will marry a beautiful Kennedy woman 

Some of these, he trounced. He won Mr. Universe 6 times and became the face of the body building industry. His net worth is easily $200 million. Most of these achievements were under his belt (except for Kennedy in-law and governor) by the early 80’s when he starred in Conan the Barbarian. Arnold’s combination of naiveté and hubris is astounding. As an actor starting out, he was offered good roles as bouncers, hit-men and tough guys in various movies. Most starving actors would’ve jumped on any of them. Arnold said, “No -- these roles don’t fit my star-to-be stature”.

Danged if he wasn’t right. I’m reminded of the Miami real estate agent who got his houses to sell by raising the prices. Whatever works, and it definitely worked for Arnold. In one small passage, Arnold explains that most people worry, fret and over-think things. We’re all paralyzed with fear of doing and fear of failure. Arnold says that he likes (even still) to jump into activities with both feet and face down problems later. Obviously, with the family maid bearing his illegitimate son, there are some exceptions to that rule even for a fearless dare devil.

One more thing struck me -- and this may foretell that Arnold wasn’t just a dumb hunk. When he had his first successes selling weight equipment and appearing in movies like Stay Hungry, Arnold did a smart thing. He bought an 8-unit apartment complex in LA and became the landlord. Lesser humans would’ve bought a Malibu pad and a Porsche. I still am not a Republican and would diverge from some of Arnold’s ideas, but I have to say his memoir is fascinating. The man is impressive and it’s way more than muscles that impress.

© 2012 blogSpotter

Laughs On the Menu at Bob's Burgers

Serving up crazy -- pic courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter

I’m overdue for a blog entry, wrestling with the writer’s block that more frequently afflicts me in my older age.   This has been a weird weekend in several respects and I was a bit distracted.  A friend’s 21 year-old son passed away last week from complications of cerebral palsy.  I attended his uplifting memorial service yesterday and came away feeling that his family will make it through OK.   I later went to a dinner party (unrelated to the memorial) and was greeted at the door by an extremely enthusiastic Labrador mix named Rosie.   The 6 year old brown and black dog was a bundle of energy and was the perfect complement to an already fun group of friends.  We ate a huge spaghetti dinner and watched House Hunters – it was a fun evening.

The weather itself has freakishly dipped from 94 degrees last week to 54 degrees this early October week… I know we’re in Texas but that’s got to be some kind of record nonetheless.  I bravely took my new Mustang to the Mi-T-Fine car wash for its first wash… it survived OK.   I’m bracing for its first ding, dent or accident.   The car has an aggressive personality and is bound to get me into some trouble at some point.

BOB’S BURGERS

OK, enough of the daily diary.  Let’s talk about one my favorite new shows, Bob’s Burgers.    It’s actually embarking on its 3^rd season although nowadays the word “season” is sketchy – you can be talking about 24 episodes that start in September or 10 episodes that start in March.   Bob actually started in January of 2011.  It centers around Bob and Linda Belcher – a middle-aged, middle class couple raising two girls and a boy.   They manage Bob’s Burgers, a greasy spoon diner.  Tina is the gawky, shy 15ish girl.  Gene is the loony, loud pre-teen son and Louise is the diabolical, precocious youngest one who is always hatching schemes.   The show is funny enough to make me fall off the couch laughing.   A staff of 5 professional comedians provide the voices and a much larger staff of wise guys write the scripts.  

What viewers might not realize is that all the regulars are voiced by men, except Louise. Voice actor John Roberts, a gentile man, imbues Linda with a hilarious harpy (albeit loveable) Jewish yenta personality.   Comedian Jon Benjamin does the voice of Bob, a basically decent, kind-hearted man who has to bring all the crazies around him back into the orbit of sanity.   The plot lines will start with things we can all relate to – a teenage crush or a professional rivalry.  Then, it will go to places no man has gone before (with all due respects to Star Trek).   The convolutions of the plot alone make it worth a look-see.  The incredible humor is a payload that follows.  

When the show first started it met with some flak.  USA Today thought it was too deadpan, and The Parent’s TV Council likened it to the crudeness of Family Guy.  But after several shows aired, there was a change of perception.  CNN and Entertainment Weekly have both described it as one of the funniest, all-around best shows on TV right now.    Unlike Family Guy, Bob is fairly innocent – it doesn’t tap into topics where angels fear to tread like abortion, animal cruelty or domestic violence.

It’s amazing that FOX, the network that gives us such a conservative twist on the news, delivers up some of the zaniest, and yes LIBERAL animated vantage points on television.   It could be that FOX execs just see the shows as “kid’s cartoons” without realizing the delightfully, frightfully subversive influence they might have on 18-24 year old youths watching. If that is the case, let’s all keep it a secret.   And tune in to Bob’s Burgers if you can survive the bruise of falling off the couch laughing.

© 2012 blogSpotter

Mustang Ranch

The new wheels -- pic by blogSpotter

by blogSpotter

For today’s blog, we’ll take a trip to the Mustang Ranch… Mind out of the gutter! I refer not to the infamous Nevada bordello but rather my own garage.   I’ve recently purchased a new "race red" Mustang and it resides there now as part of my two car collection.   I’ve kept the Toyota RAV4 for my more adult moments.  So far, both vehicles fit (and get along) nicely in my garage.

My car is the basic V6 model (no Cobra or Shelby going on here).  The V6 is plenty nice, comes very well equipped.  It has “Microsoft Sync” and also a semi-Standard shift if I choose to use it.  One might ask why a man in his mid-50’s needs such a car, and I have some trouble answering that myself.  There are 1,000 practical reasons not to buy it. 

I began my trek looking for a new SUV to replace the 2001 RAV4.  Must elaborate, the RAV4 has done nothing wrong, it’s just a little worn.   As I made the rounds at various dealerships I found myself getting a terrible case of the yawns looking at the boxy, bland offerings there are.  My RAV4 looks better than the new one to be honest.  I found myself humming “Is That All There Is?”….  Then the new breed of domestic muscle cars (Mustang, Camaro, Challenger) caught my eye.  My 16 year-old alter ego said "buy, buy, buy" but the bean counter inside me quickly produced a mile-long list of reasons not to buy my pony dream car.

Reasons not to buy the Mustang:

1. I could remodel my kitchen and put in a sprinkler system for the same price.
2. It’s a lot more car insurance (but not double the amount) 
3. There will be twice as many inspections and oil changes.
4. My previously spacious, empty garage has to be reorganized to make room.
5. The Mustang cannot comfortably seat anything more than two adults.
6. It's too beautiful to park anywhere
7. etc etc

I’m so practical, I’ll practical myself to death .. the above reasons will always be obstacles to the teenager inside me.  Back in 1979, I was denied a new, blue Mustang due to a funds deficiency – I was $500 short and the parental units wouldn’t kick in.  At 54, I’m now my own parental unit and I say, “Yes, you may buy that car”.

To the first group of nay-sayers who tell me it’s a mid-life crisis car, I have to say it's more of a mid-life enhancement.  I'm not experiencing a crisis, I'm just deferring my grown-up years a little bit more.  I never acted my age and this is no time to start.  To a second group who think of me as extravagant, I must say the car was less expensive than the RAV4 was 11 years ago; it’s the basic, entry-level V6 model.   

Last of all, let me approach car songs of pop culture: Pink Cadillac, Little Red Corvette, Mustang Sally.   Notice that these songs evoke American wheels in bright colors.  It’s not:  Beige Lexus,  Little Silver Mazda or Mitsubishi Sally.  Those songs wouldn’t play on the radio.  And neither will they play in my driveway.   If you’ve finished judging the impracticality of my purchase, then maybe you’re ready for me to “take you for a ride in my coupe”.  Minus the sexual double entendre of course.  

© 2012 blogSpotter

The Ned Flanders Awakening

Okely-dokely-do - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
 I just watched an episode of The Simpsons, and feel compelled to talk about one of my favorite characters – Ned Flanders. Ned Flanders is one of the show’s most enduring and unambiguous characters. Nedward Flanders, Jr. is a 60 year old Evangelical Christian, a devout Republican, Oral Roberts University graduate, longtime neighbor to the Simpsons and constant thorn in the side to the spiritually challenged Homer. Flanders is the epitome of Goodness, having actually donated a kidney and a lung in one episode. He shows no anger – his aggressive feelings were dissipated by 8 months of “Spankalogical Protocol” in his strange hippie upbringing, according to another episode. Flanders attributes his serenity to “Vitamin Church”.

Flanders isn’t entirely without fault… Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Flanders has been known to shriek like a woman when confronted with something scary. While Harry Shearer usually does Flanders’ voice, Tress MacNeille was brought in to do the terrified scream. Flanders frets so much over life’s minor trials, he’s become a nuisance to Reverend Lovejoy, the local minister. His beliefs are more dogmatic and less flexible – very much on display with his strict parenting of his sons Rod and Todd.

In the irony department, Flanders has a room devoted to the Beatles because they were “bigger than Jesus”… Blasphemy! He has a well-sculpted body with six-pack abs underneath his green sweater – probably done as another way to gig Homer, who has by comparison a flabby 12-pack from doughnuts and beer. Flanders is an all-around goody-two shoe, but the widower (he lost wife Maude in Season 11) has been romantically involved with 4 women including the school marm Edna Krabappel.

Flanders is celebrated for his silly speech tics and Christian colloquialisms:

• Hi-didly-i
• Okely-dokely-do
• Gosh darn it!
• Am I that pre-diddly-ictable?
• Hustle your bustles!
• I don’t mean to be a nervous Pervis…

The Flanders character has evolved across 500+ Simpson episodes…He began as merely a goody-goody foil to Homer. Harry Shearer’s sweet voice made the writers decide he should be Christian. From there he became something of a Christian Right caricature… and from there he became one of the most beloved and celebrated Christians in pop culture. He is fourth in line after the Pope, Mother Teresa and Billy Graham as a recognized Christian … no kidding.

Entertainment Weekly once described The Simpsons’ humor as being “vaguely leftist”. After all, they lampoon nuclear power, the capitalistic Mr. Burns, the shifty lawyer Lionel Hutz… But the religious community probably likes the innocuous depiction of Flanders despite all the diddlies, screams and pointed silliness. He’s truly a nice guy in the final analysis. His presence in the heterogeneous mix of Springfield characters signifies the place and prominence of this pop cultural Christian archetype. Other shows might have “good” characters – another Fox character, Cleveland, comes to mind. But nothing quite compares to the Ned Flanders Awakening.

© 2012 blogSpotter

Incorrectulous

Maher on the Walk of Fame - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
When I just searched for Bill Maher on the Internet, several other Bills and Billy’s popped up ahead of him – Cosby, Clinton and even Billy Joel. That is a total shame; our nation of web surfers should have more curiosity about this insightful, controversial actor, comedian and humorist. Maher’s views do fall askew of the mainstream TV viewers, and he would probably be another type of unwelcome “alien” in deeply red Texas.

Maher is a secular humanist, libertarian, pro-feminist, PETA following, “Apatheist” trouble maker who dares to play devil’s advocate in all too many places. Some people would say he is the devil – usually people of a strident, blinders-on mentality. The son of a lapsed Catholic father and Jewish mother, Maher has the clarity and objectivity that comes from such a varied background. He isn’t a slave to any school of thought so much as an objective, cultural critic to all of them.

To be sure, Maher has stepped in it a few times with his strident, opinionated enthusiasm. On his ABC show, Politically Incorrect, he incurred the wrath of many by suggesting that the Islamic jihadists of 9/11 were “brave”. This was in 2002, shortly after the attacks – so many sponsors pulled out that it cost him the show. In context, he was saying that someone flying a plane into a building is not acting timidly. But – and Maher was quick to admit – it was the wrong thing to say.

Maher then moved to HBO and started his still-running talk show, Real Time with Bill Maher. Real Time is similar in concept to Politically Incorrect but features more political figures rather than randomly assembled celebrities. Here he drew fire from Alabama's congressman Bachus for pointing out that the US Military hasn’t met 46% of its recruiting requirements. Maher rightly asked why Bachus didn’t use his energy to correct the recruiting problem instead of starting an “I Hate Maher” campaign. Lastly, Maher angered the AMA by suggesting that swine flu shots were risky and he would pass on it. He backed off of the position a bit after being lambasted from all directions.

Maher isn’t afraid to lock horns, and sometimes his rabble-rousing is very deliberate. His 2008 movie Religulous points up many of the fallacies in organized religion (pretty much all of them are lampooned). Devout people with thick skin should go see the movie – it raises some interesting points. Maher has also won a Richard Dawkins award for working to promote secular and scientific values in our society. He doesn’t claim to be an atheist like Dawkins so much as a questioning agnostic. Both secular and question are red flag words in the faith community so Maher’s noncommittal nature still makes him pretty much a nemesis to the church-going crowd.

Lastly, but not least, Maher is a confirmed bachelor playboy who indulges in non-medical weed. If you weren’t already shocked and appalled by his religious views, you might very well blanch at his libertine lifestyle. What I myself find odd about Bill Maher is not any of his maverick ways – he’s very much in the tradition of his brilliant stylistic forbear, Mark Twain. I applaud his weirdness – our mantra should be “Keep Maher weird”. What I find odd, is that so many people find Maher to be odd.

We live in a nation of cookie cutter homes, does it also have to be a nation of cookie cutter people? Bill Maher is a devilish exception – he’s from an entirely different cookie recipe. And his is a recipe that intellectually curious people should savor.

© 2012 blogSpotter

Midnight Movie Mania

Plan 9 for Weekend Viewing ... - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter

Miscellany

Today’s blog will bring two movie mini-reviews which were viewed on my fun new toy -- the ROKU 2 streaming video box. It’s similar in appearance to an Apple TV box, but even smaller. I’ll reserve anymore ROKU commentary for a future article, there’s a lot to report on. I also got real and put my VCR in the Good Will giveaway pile. Haven’t watched a video cassette in @ 4 years and that was a pretty grainy, low-res experience. Most of my old video cassettes went into File 13… no big losses there. Enough chit-chat, now let’s cover our movies…

Plan 9 from Outer Space

1959’s sci-fi movie Plan 9 received a lot of publicity when Tim Burton did a biography of its director, Ed Wood, back in the 1990’s. Plan 9 was billed by many as “the worst movie ever made” and it was the punching bag for aspiring film critics everywhere. With its cheesy props, non-sequitur WWII stock film insertions, and loopy dialog it would be difficult to elevate Plan 9 to Oscar level status.

The plot is about outer space aliens who land on Earth and reanimate recently dead Earthlings into zombies (or “ghouls”). The alien goal is to scare humans into discontinuing a new solar technology that could destroy the universe. The aliens look like humans in fast food uniforms. Some of the props (gravestones, spaceship portals) appear to be cardboard and it’s a known fact that the flying saucer itself was a toy suspended by a string. Plan 9 was filmed over 5 days on what must have been a $1000 budget. Leftover footage of the late Bela Lugosi was used as a basis for Plan 9. Lugosi and Vampira were the two “stars” of the movie.

Before writing it off as the worst movie ever, I’d question the director’s overall goal and the effects (intended or otherwise) on the audience. The fact is that the movie now has people rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off. That by itself makes it much better than “worst”. A truly bad movie is one where you click stop after 5 minutes and don’t come back. Some intrepid viewers have even suggested that Plan 9 actually has a good message alluding to nuclear weapons although that’s a stretch.

I actually think Plan 9 could be remade… I would have John Waters direct it and cast people like Mink Stole or Pee Wee Herman. John Goodman could play the role of Tor Johnson. You could put some new spin on the cheesy effects and play it all for laughs – you might need to goose the dialog just a little bit. You could also go a different direction and have David Lynch direct it. You could play up the surreal, nonsensical aspects of it – Lynch is the master of that. I heartily recommend Plan 9 from Outer Space as a movie for anyone studying the film industry or film history. It’s really a gem that should be polished and appreciated.

She Done Him Wrong

I also watched 1933’s She Done Him Wrong with Mae West and Cary Grant as a very young man. I probably haven’t watched a feature-length Mae West film since I was a kid. This movie has her playing Lady Lou, a Gay 90’s dance hall siren who’s wronged her boyfriend by seeing other men while he’s serving time. Mae West is positively magnetic and owns every scene – star power magnified by ten. She sings “Frankie and Johnnie” and "Easy Rider” – numbers that make the movie worthwhile by themselves. Some of her lines I recall ..

“Come up and see me some time” (a classic, said to Cary Grant)
“Honey I was so poor.. at one point I didn’t know where my next husband was coming from”’
“When a woman goes wrong, a man goes right behind her”.

Mae West was fantastic – sort of a smart-aleck spitfire Dolly Parton of yesteryear. She was a prime asset to Hollywood, and a thorn in the side of censors at the time.

So there you have two reviews in one. Both movies make us realize that black-and-white “Midnight movies” of times past can still inform us, amuse us and mesmerize us. You don’t need high tech, car explosions or high definition 3-D to be thoroughly entertained.

© 2011 blogSpotter

Beyond the Planet of the Apes

Now entering the Forbidden Zone - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
This past week I watched a movie which can only be described as a guilty pleasure – Beneath the Planet of the Apes. It’s the 1970 sequel to 1968’s seminal, highly acclaimed Planet of the Apes, based on Pierre Boulle’s 1963 novel. The original movie was well-structured and conveyed some important messages about human arrogance and technology run amok. You might think it should be left alone, intact with its Academy award for ape costumes and all its thought provoking monkey business.

In fact, Apes spawned a business, media empire – 4 sequels, a comic book, a TV show and (very recently) a prequel “reboot” called Rise of the Planet of the Apes. This is a healthy franchise that will live forever; it rivals Star Wars in its staying power. Who knew that such a role reversal would have such a hold on us? There have been various spins placed on Apes … some liken the simian masters to the primal essence of humans (maybe a devolving of humans back into apehood?). In some ways this would hark back to King Kong of the 1930’s, where Kong was symbolic of a masculine, human id. Others have perceived a racist bent in Apes – maybe apes were used as a substitute for a race or nationality. I never really saw that angle myself.

Whatever the case may be, the first sequel, Beneath, is laughable. It involves the discovery of a race of subterranean, mutant humans. They inhabit the ancient Queensboro subway station and worship an undetonated nuclear warhead as God. I won’t give away what happens (does it matter?) but the chief impression I carry away is that the movie’s budget had to be in the thousands, not millions. The special effects are comically crude – fire that looks like orange cellophane and lightening that looks like something a kid might scrawl with a white crayon. Aspects of the movie remind me of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space. The mutants look like current day Teletubbies and the actors are robbed of all dignity – how many careers must this movie have squelched?

I think that if you must go from the sublime to the ridiculous, you could do better than this. Much in the tradition of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, we should have Beyond the Planet of the Apes. In this sequel, a 3rd space ship lands in the Forbidden Zone. Astronaut Scott Smith strays into ape territory; he’s captured and brought in for observation by Zira the zoologist chimp. But Scott sees something in Zira’s eyes – a soul connection that transcends species. Zira feels the same. Scott and Zira escape (and elope) but not without enraging PETA and the Ape equivalent of Moral Majority. Because of their bestial love, they must run to the Forbidden Zone (double entendre is unavoidable). They stumble into the old subway station at Rockefeller Center. Here they discover a race of ape-humans who are very accepting of alternative lifestyles and who embrace the performing arts. At this point … the author is momentarily out of ideas – he needs a Starbucks refill.

The reader may email me with ideas of how to finish it, or give me guidance in the comment section of this blog. I feel that my Beyond version has as much validity as Beneath. Furthermore, the special effects would be minimal. It could be done for pennies and maybe be up for some musical awards. Will wrap this up by saying I have utmost respect for the original novel and its premise. I’m all the more thankful that we have these fertile imaginations – to take cinematic gold and turn it into unintended comedy gold.

© 2011 blogSpotter

Daring Debutante

This is a stickup! - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
I was in my junior year at Lanier High School in February 1974. Watergate was in full throttle and Paul McCartney’s Wings was boring us with “Bland on the Run”. I needed some excitement and finally received my fix when it was reported that 19 year-old newspaper heiress Patty Hearst had been kidnapped by the left-wing guerillas known as Symbionese Liberation Army. That poor, beautiful girl. There she was watching TV with her boyfriend Steve Weed one minute, and the next minute she was being held for ransom by a ruffian named Donald Cinque LeFreeze no less.

To look at her prior life is to look at stuffy, stifling, wealthy, lily white luxuriance. She was raised by her patrician parents in highbrow Hillsborough, California. The 3rd of 5 daughters, she attended the very best schools – Crystal Springs School for Girls and Santa Catalina School in Monterey. Had Patty’s life unfolded the way her preppy, two-dimensional “script” spelled out, she would’ve joined a sorority, majored in Liberal Arts, met a wealthy scion from Dow Chemical and settled into a life of shallow splendor – vacationing in Aruba and shopping for Mercedes automobiles.

But fate had another script in mind. In the hands of Donald Cinque LeFreeze, Patty was transformed into a firebrand of social revolution. LeFreeze used Maoist mind control tactics to convince the impressionable Patty that she was a victim of White Establishment propaganda. He renamed her “Tania” after Che Guevara’s girlfriend. He talked the beautiful coed into joining the SLA in its various activities – issuing dire proclamations to the public and robbing banks. Patty was caught on security camera, barking commands to Hibernia Bank customers while wielding a gun. Ironically, Hibernia Bank was headed by the father of her best friend from childhood. Strange how the circles overlapped.

The SLA was nothing if not socially conscious. The ransom they requested was for Patty’s father to give $70 worth of food to all of California’s needy – a total value of $400 million. When Hearst complied, the SLA considered the food to be of poor quality – ransom unmet. Patty herself was quoted as saying, “My father could have done better”. Alas, the socially aware SLA had a short run. The group, including Patty, was apprehended in September 1975 and brought to justice.

The 1976 trial was a precursor to the 3 Ring Circus OJ-style events we’ve come to know in recent decades. F. Lee Bailey defended Patty but he was no match for prosecution expert Dr. Harry L. Kozol. Kozol smashed the “Stockholm Syndrome” defense by pointing out that Patty (1) still refused to turn evidence on SLA members and (2) failed to ever mention a small closet where police investigators allege that she was raped. In what was seen as a victory for the prosecution, Patty was sentenced to 35 years in Federal prison. Fortunately for Patty, the other powers that be relented. Jimmy Carter commuted her sentence to time served, 22 months in 1979. Bill Clinton gave her a full pardon in 2001.

In 2011, Patty Hearst lives a pleasant, unexciting, unremarkable life as a still attractive middle-aged matron. She married her former bodyguard, Bernard Shaw; they live in Garrison, NY with their two children Gillian and Lydia. In 1974, the antics of the SLA were greeted with weary vexation – we were still coming down from the 60’s. We live now in an unyielding age of over-the-top comedy with comedians like Conan O’Brien and Kathy Griffin. The extreme ironies and titillating details of Patty’s ordeal would never escape the laugh-a-minute laser vision of Comedy Central or Jay Leno in 2011. Details like a captor named “Cinque DeFreeze” cannot be ignored. In point of fact, filmmaker John Waters (of Pink Flamingos fame) did see the zaniness even at the time. Patty’s acting career is mostly comprised of comedic roles in John Waters movies like Cry-Baby. She was also in a couple of other B movies and did cameos for Frasier and Veronica Mars. Patty’s parents probably wish that their daughter’s life had adhered to the debutante script. All the rest of us, as well as popular culture, must feel enriched that Patty’s life took a completely different direction.

© 2011 blogSpotter

Robert's Comedy Pantheon

It's a Tie -- Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter

Preface
I had another article all ready for publication (my historical magnum opus on John Wilkes Booth). Then upon reading it, I fell soundly asleep – and I’m the author. I don’t do ‘book reports’ and yet that’s what it was – a bore, a snore and a dismal fact dump. Think I do better sometimes when I “pull it out of my ass” as David Letterman describes Dr. Phil’s advice. You may still get a highly revised John Wilkes Booth story later, but for now, from out of my ass, is Robert’s Comedy Pantheon…...

Comedy Heroes
I love standup comedy and I’ll normally stop what I’m doing to catch a good stand-up act on Leno, Letterman or Comedy Central. I have 6 favorites on my iPod: Kathy Griffin, Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, Wanda Sykes, Lisa Lampanelli and Lewis Black. I’ve noticed an interesting thing: Some comics I’ll listen to repeatedly and some annoy me after one or two listenings. Herewith, I’ll rate these guys based on originality, delivery, “No fear” factor and a fourth “Je ne sais quoi” catch-all category for miscellaneous things. This is a little out of my usual comfort zone, like when I rated hamburgers (Whataburger was #1); sometimes we have to break out of the mold dammit. Now let’s look at our list of comics …

#1 Kathy Griffin – I already blogged about Kathy. I love her show, My Life on the D List, and here’s a short blurb why. She doesn’t flinch from anything be it her mother drinking a box of wine or Barbara Walters using Astro-glide. She has sacrificed relationships for comedy material – that’s a person dedicated to the cause. She’s nearly fearless, plumbs lots of new material and has a great delivery. She’s dubbed herself an “honorary gay man” and done a trip to Iraq to entertain troops. Last but not least she said, “Jesus can suck it” when getting an Emmy. Christians everywhere, it was a joke meant to shock. Shock it did – I think Jesus is probably over it, I don’t know about everyone else.

#1 (it’s a tie) Patton Oswalt – I’ve also blogged about Patton Oswalt. His near schizo bits about dying in the George Bush Apocalypse, Physics for Poets or Stelladora Breakfast treats but him in the super-brave, uber original category. I truly think he’s brilliant. Much like a poet laureate, he has tremendous command of English (he majored in English) and he fairly spills his guts in talking about various observations and insecurities. He’s comedy gold that everyone should enjoy. He’s played a lovable loser in shows like King of Queens, so he’s someone to enjoy on many levels.

#2 Jim Gaffigan – Jim is a tall, sardonic nearly albino comedy actor and stand-up artist who makes wry, dry observations about everyday life. He doesn’t take on show-biz or political giants as do Kathy and Patton. His comedy is more likely to highlight his wife, coworkers, fans or people he meets on the street. He speaks of the man at K-Mart who was drinking a cup of gravy. He speaks again of sleeping so long he’s tired when he wakes up. He has a running gag on Hot Pocket sandwiches. He’s extremely self-deprecating and makes a lot of jokes about his paleness and perceived lack of sex appeal. He even produced a cartoon short called Pale Force featuring him and Conan O’Brien. Jim is hilarious – he’s been all over TV and movies (Sex and the City, Going the Distance). Check out his stand-up routine on CD if you want to see him up-close and personal.

#3 Wanda Sykes – Wanda is the wry, sarcastic (now recently out) black woman who’s known more as a comedy actress. She plays the sidekick on shows like New Adventures of Old Christine but has also appeared on many shows like those of Chris Rock and Bill Maher. Her stand-up comedy is fairly blue and people who know her from sitcoms might be “shocked and appalled” at things like a detachable vagina and similar stuff. She also riffs on racial themes (“white people commit more crimes but don’t get caught”) which are pretty good in context. Her delivery has a grating, know-it-all aspect to it that starts to annoy me on the second listen. Also, I disagree that Nasa should be canceled – I’m a space nerd that likes that program. Have to say I probably disagree with a couple of her pet issues. She’s not “out there” in the ether of Left Field like Patton, Kathy or Jim so not as entertaining to me.

#4 Lewis Black – There was a time when I thought Lewis Black was so funny, I’ve blogged about him before. Then I realized a couple of things (one which Seth McFarland pointed out on Family Guy)… he yells his punch lines as if the yelling will embellish the humor. It’s novel and funny until it becomes completely annoying. What I also noticed is that he’s kind of a wuss on subject matter. He attacks innocuous things like candy corn and adults who dress up at Halloween. (Yawn). He goes after politicians like George Bush and Rick Santorum long after there are any comedy credits for bravery or astuteness (and after everyone else has already piled on). Otherwise, he’s actually fairly apolitical and to be honest, a little boring.

#5 Lisa Lampanelli – This loudmouth Italian woman is a little too old (48-ish) and big to be categorized as a comedy ho or bimbo. She’s discovered a comedy mother lode by being an equal opportunity offender to every racial and sexual minority. She goes on at length about “gooks, spics and butt pirates” and most of her targets take it in good fun. Her “ticket” if you will is that she craves black men and gay men are her best friends. She’s very self-deprecating so that a self-demolition gives license for an everyone-else-demolition. I think some people will be offended to be honest. I have to admit I laughed by butt off the first time I listened to her Queen of Mean. Then on second listening I realized that she (like Lewis Black) yells her jokes – she also recycles a lot. How many times can you replay black, gay or Asian stereotypes without sounding like a broken record? She’s funny but it’s a one-listen, one-trick pony.

So there you have it – Robert’s Comedy Pantheon. I didn’t include dead people (George Carlin) and I didn’t include people who primarily host (Conan O’Brien) or act (Ben Stiller). The world of funny people is a densely populated one when you consider everyone there is. My list of comics above might seem pretty left field – these guys probably won’t be appearing in Branson, MO anytime soon. blogSpotter would be interested in knowing who else is funny that I might’ve overlooked. The world can be sort of gray and dull at times – let’s hear it for the people who make us laugh.

© 2010 blogSpotter

The Dallas Green Party Rules

2010 Saint Patrick's on Greenville -- Picture by blogSpotter

by blogSpotter
You might be experiencing deja vu -- it may seem that you've already read this Saint Patrick's blog. Well faith and begorrah, maybe you have. I had it as a blip on last week's Oscar blog, and decided it deserved a blog entry unto itself, along with another photo.

East Dallas' Greenville Avenue, with its eclectic mix of bars, ethnic restaurants, flea markets, old theaters and what-not, is a worthy destination all year-round. On March 13th 2010, we had the perfect convergence of crystal blue sky, 66 degree weather, and 80,000 joyful Irish wanna-bes flooding Greeville Avenue -- making a good thing all that much better. Here briefly is a replay of that event.

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I have to point out that Dallas has its own Green Party. Nothing to do with the environment -- we’re talking a Saint Patrick’s celebration on Lower Greenville Avenue. No city (except maybe Dublin, Ireland) has a lock on Saint Patrick; many American cities have parades and parties in his honor. For some reason, the Dallas version has exploded into a Green orgy that sprawls across all of East Dallas in a crazed, beer-bust-a-palooza that goes all day and partly into the next.


A line down the block on Goodwin Ave -- Picture by blogSpotter

Being middle-aged and a non-drinker, I’ve harrumphed at it for many years (I live in East Dallas no less). I finally decided that if I can’t beat them, I’ll join them. I went and spent three hours in “the belly of the beast”. I witnessed a man with a green beard and a green dog -- he was nothing compared to another man wearing the green thong from Borat. The overall tone was Halloween with a green theme, intersecting maybe the Dog Parade from Easter at Lee Park.

SECOND BASE

I was groped by one woman lurching thru the crowd, and invited to dine with three ladies (total strangers) at Café Brazil. I would’ve said yes, but had already just chowed down two Cheeseburgers. Later in the evening I accidentally got to second base with an Asian woman. We bumped into each other and she started to fall. I reached to grab her, afraid she would strike the sidewalk. She turned as I grabbed, and I grabbed a whole hand full of boob. I was seriously embarrassed but she was drunk and didn’t appear to notice or care. I hoped nobody saw, but someone yelled, "Get a good feel?” from a car going by. I’ll never live down the shame.

Overall, Saint Patrick’s was a lot of fun and I’ll probably be back. There is too much in the way of beer-induced debauchery, youthful exuberance and green-painted pit bulls for me to stay away any time in the future.

© 2010 blogSpotter

Zombies Among us

A zombie road movie to love -- Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
This weekend we’re having typical Texas yo-yo weather. Friday was sunny and 70, today is cold and rainy. Perfect weekend for me to catch up on some movies which I did with Zombieland (2009, Columbia Pictures) and a couple of others that were less review-worthy. One thing you can pretty much tell from the Zombieland movie posters and the fact it stars Woody Harrelson -- it’s an over-the-top comedy.

It is an over-the-top, silly comedy which made me fall off the couch a couple of times, with laughter. Note to serious people everywhere: silly is not a bad thing, sometimes it’s a needed prescription for what ails you.

Zombieland starts from a precept which is almost now cliché; a fast-acting virus has attacked the human race and turned 99% of them into slobbering, drooling cannibal zombies. The healthy remaining humans are few and far between -- they must use brutal survival skills (eg, “double tap“) to dispatch the lurching monsters. This gives us a charmingly odd quartet of people who happen into each other (each one named after a city of origin) on a road trip of sorts:

Columbus -- a shy, sweet still-virginal 20 year old college boy (Played by Jessie Eisentstein).
Tallahassee -- a mean, nasty albeit charming, gun-slinging, middle-aged man with a penchant for twinkies and killing zombies for fun (Harrelson, of course)
Wichita -- A beautiful 20-something con woman who thinks nothing of stealing cars and men’s hearts (Emma Stone)
Little Rock -- Wichita’s precocious 12 year old cohort who delivers dome of the movie’s best lines (Abigail Breslin)

This movie has something to offer everyone and it crosses thru several of my favorite genres. Men will love the bloody cartoon violence whereby zombies are decapitated, run over by cars and otherwise taken out of commission. Women will like the budding romance between Columbus and Wichita. I myself love road movies (eg, Paper Moon , It Happened One Night, even Thelma and Louise). There’s no better way to see that the journey often exceeds the destination -- maybe it is the destination.

Zombieland has our travelers going (somewhat randomly) from Garland, Texas to Los Angeles via a black Escalade and then a stolen yellow Hummer (found with only arms clutching the steering wheel -- one must assume that zombies feasted on the rest of the owner’s body). I like any movie with a southwest flavor. Due to the travel trajectory of this movie, we get some Willy Nelson, progressive country music backdrop, Indian casinos and southwest artifacts along the way. (Tragically, some of the artifacts get deliberately smashed to pieces).

Bill Murray has a hilarious cameo midway, and Tallahassee makes it clear that he’s an ultimate Murray fan. Well, I’m a Woody Harrelson fan so we’ve got almost a hat trick going here. Another of my favorite things are “movies within movies” and movies that pay homage to other great movies. Zombieland is a grab bag of movie references (not the least of which is the main characters watching and reenacting Ghostbusters at Bill Murray’s LA mansion). This isn’t a satire (like the Scary Movie series) but rather a clever mixing and matching of motifs for an altogether original and funny picture.

MODERN FAMILY ET AL
I’ve exhausted my creative energy on Zombieland so now I’m becoming a zombie myself. However I must mention that Wednesdays on ABC have become the new must-see television night. With The Middle, Modern Family, Cougar Town and Ugly Betty, there’s an unstoppable comedy train coming through on ABC. Last week’s Modern Family had the adoptive gay fathers being horrified that their infant daughter’s first word is “Mommy”, said to a woman babysitter. “She can tell you have (uhm) breasts and other lady parts. You’re her new mother. (beginning to sob) She‘s made her choice”. Elsewhere on the show, Manny and his step-dad are both afraid to go on the big roller coaster. The mother, totally disgusted that she must ride alone says, “Here is my purse, here is my fluffy hat, and there’s the lady’s room if either of you guys needs to go to the bathroom”. Two laugh out loud moments, one TV show. It’s hard to do but they did it.

The rain has let up a little and it’s near dinner hour, so I’ll sign off now.

© 2010 blogSpotter

It's the Gift That Counts

I Know You Want Me -- Picture courtesy of Acer

by blogSpotter
Dear readers, I’m having my year-end writer’s block along with coming off of colds, flu and vacations. If I can ever get back to my normal, quiet and otherwise healthy existence I may recover the muse of witty and provocative blog-writing.

That being said, we’ll have to make do with a “Christmas memory” retrospective and movie review combo. My mother has become frail in recent years and we don’t do an over-the-top, house-of-lights yuletide festival that we once did at her house. In fact, this year there was nary a Santa candle to be found on any table top. We still had a wonderful family gathering with good food, cheer and gift exchange. In a Dickensian moment, it finally occurred to me that Christmas is not about the gaudy tinsel decor or the towering Scotch pine Christmas tree. It’s not really about the Mississippi mud pie or pecan fudge desserts. No sir, not at all. In the final analysis, Christmas is about the gifts. OK, you can bring baby Jesus into it too if you want. After we did our exchange of cologne, jewelry, candy, gift cards and various DVD’s all was right with the world. Well, almost right.

My Mother’s gift to herself was a purple (Amethyst) Acer Aspire netbook computer. It’s the new model, with 160GB hard drive and Windows 7 Starter edition. She paid about the same as I paid a year ago for a black HP Mini with Windows XP and a seriously smaller hard drive. I don’t know why my mind works as it does, but in the time that I set up her new Aspire, my HP Mini (which now has a dark spot on the middle of the screen) lost pretty much all of its appeal. How can I go thru major electronics as quickly as other people go thru shirts or magazines? I haven’t done anything yet, but an avocado green mini is probably in the near future for me.

We had 10 people and 4 dogs crowded into 1 house, so I had to flee the premises a couple of times to go to the Round Rock Cinemark. I watched “Up In the Air” in which George Clooney portrays a workaholic bachelor who lives out of a suitcase and lays people off for a living. The movie is an eye-opener for some of us who can relate to the main character’s lonely but simultaneously clueless situation. This movie will make the viewer question what success is in any real sense. It ends a little bit sadly and ambiguously – you hope that George’s character, Ryan, has found a key to happiness if not yet happiness itself.

I also caught “Sherlock Holmes” with Robert Downey and Jude Law. This movie was stylish and plush with eye candy for all. With it’s clever plot twists, technical intrigue and fun bro-mance attitude, it reminded me of either “Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid” or maybe “The Sting”. Some of the technical gimmickry reminded me of “Wild, Wild West” where things improbable for 2009 are shown happening in London of 1887. No matter – this movie is certainly not for historical nitpickers. This movie is for anyone who enjoys action, romance, intrigue and plot twists galore – the main ingredients for all great cinema.

In sum, I had a really fun Christmas and very long (6 day) stay in Round Rock. I’m hoping that my future blog entries bring me back to history, science or philosophy but I’ll need to flush all the cold medicine, flu germs, and Christmas candy out of my system. Cheers, and Happy 2010 to all.


© 2009 blogSpotter

Bruno Sets Us Free

More famous than Hitler? -- Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
Last weekend, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go see Bruno -- the documentary-comedy featuring Sacha Baron Cohen in the title role. He plays an over-the-top, gay Austrian fashionista who seeks fortune and fame however he may come by it. To some extent, his character is a standing satire of superficial celebrity personae like Paris Hilton and her wag namesake Perez Hilton. Bruno is a pompous, preening self-absorbed drama queen seeking to inject his face wherever he can. The most biting satire is when this ridiculous person interacts with the denizens of Alabama and Arkansas. However silly Bruno might be, he has a right to existence and self-expression -- rights that the USMC, Exodus and Lebanese terrorists would just as soon revoke.

Cohen isn’t even gay in reality but is willing to submit himself to all the humiliations an openly gay man might experience in dealing with “heterodoxy”. I won’t do a tedious play-by-play of the whole movie, but will hit some of the highlights. Bruno entraps 2008 candidate Ron Paul for a faux interview. He puts the moves on Paul, who runs from the room in terror …”That man’s a queer!”. Bruno enlists in the Army, and reports for duty in a standard issue uniform accessorized with Dolce and Gabana. Two butch drill sergeants are no match for Bruno’s fashion sense. He joins on Exodus (gay conversion group) in Alabama only to tell the minister in charge that he has beautiful BJ lips.

Other encounters are with a karate instructor, a group of deer hunters, a straight dominatrix and straight swinger’s club. He also tries to broker peace in the Middle East (not kidding) and tries to get himself kidnapped by Islamic terrorists. Through all of this, he is met with gape-jawed outrage from the straight people with whom he interacts. In truth, some of the people figure he’s crazy and show the same type of apprehension you might have for an escapee from Belleview Hospital. I think the straight people end up looking just about as silly as Bruno in the end.

I’ve left out big chunks of plot and dialog but suffice it to say, the movie is an eyeful. It ends with Bruno in a cage fight where he and his opponent engage in a make-out session instead of a fight. The audience (a sea of Arkansas mullets and tank tops) roars in fury but can’t rush past the chain-link fenced stage. I myself envision a future world like the downtown San Francisco I saw a few years ago. People wear costumes all year long -- it doesn’t have to be Halloween. Bruno would almost be conservative by their standards. Our day will come … and Sacha Baron Cohen helps to make it so obvious how much better a place it is when overbleached drama queens lead us to love, not war and hatefulness.

© 2009 blogSpotter