Thoroughly Modern Technology

My new cellular security system - Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
I like to think of myself as a gadget-freak early adaptor. I have iPods, iPhones and iPads out the wazoo. I’ve been a pioneer on various things (blogging, paypal, web 2.0) and yet there are ways in which I’m woefully behind. This woefulness can be attributed to several (primarily middle-aged) things ..
o Cheapness -- I abhor new monthly fees or paying for unused services
o Sales rep aversion -- Don’t want to deal with obnoxious people who try to upsell me on everything
o Laziness -- Don't want to deal with estimates or installations

So how far behind am I? Until today, I still had a landline security system. I still have a landline telephone from 1991. I still have basic, analog cable with low resolution. I have DSL for the Internet -- speedtest.com gives me a D+ for the speed grade. How did I get to this sad, low-tech state? I might as well be using a 386 computer with Windows 95. A blinking VCR would round it out.

Back in 2005, I was still using AOL dial-up and only a landline phone (no cellular). That year, I installed DSL and purchased a RAZR cell phone -- thought I’d moved onto a plane of technological superiority. I neglect to mention that by 2005, dial-up was down for the count -- I had to be among the last of the dial-up Mohicans. People I knew that were liberal arts mavens were blazing techie trails all around me. People who had no particular interest in gadgets were out-gadgeting me.

Now we fast-foward to 2013... DSL is passe -- probably on its last legs. Landline phones are expected to be phased completely out by 2030. Everything changes and we have to get with the program. Some things make a comeback like vinyl records and Danish Modern furniture, to be sure. But some things fall into the well of antiquity -- hi-fis, console TV’s, rotary phones, typewriters. To have it as anything but a retro-collector item makes you look like the world-weary, elderly uncle waiting for Godot.

In a final analysis I’m a technophile who has exhibited technophobic tendencies. Now that I upgraded my security system I’m free to upgrade the rest. I have every confidence that fiber optic, cable, satellite and cellular toys that we love today will succumb to staleness later on. I can see an incredulous young relative circa 2024... WHAT? You still have fiber optic?

At that point, I might not be such a slave to trends, and I just won't give a flip. …I can show my young relative my Apple II computer or my 1999 iBook that still boots. Welcome to my museum of arcane artifacts. By 2024, my old stuff will help to put new things in context.

But for now I’m young enough to be influenced by peer pressure, advertising and gadget envy. How dare the neighbor across the street ace me out with 300 hi-def channels, lightening fast internet and digital phone ?? The nerve! It's time for me to get with the program. :-)

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