Mi Cocina and Me

Aiming for this, will we get there? - Pic courtesy of Trebor

by Trebor Snillor

Today

Today we’re having blue sky and temps in the low 60’s. Everyone is energized including me. I’ve already shopped at Trader Joe’s and dropped off several items at Goodwill. Who knows what other momentous things might happen?

Mi Cocina

I’m a little bit nervous because I just contracted to have my whole kitchen gutted and replaced with a new, modern kitchen. Mind you: I’ve lived with the current kitchen for 24 years -- it is the original 1945 kitchen. The cabinet wood is so old, it’s splitting up the middle. Rats have found an opening from the crawl space and visit my cabinet interior at night. I have ONE, count’em one drawer for utensils. The time is right for a refresh.

But add to this – I’m a very private person who doesn’t like strangers in my house. The schedule is set for a long 7 week period to demolish and rebuild the one room. My neighbors will love the giant Pod that gets parked on my curb – my street is already narrow and lacking space for curb parking.

My fridge and microwave will move probably to the dining room while the remodel takes place. I’ll be eating off Chinette plates and tossing food in the trash. What’s not to love?? The aforementioned nightmare of logistics is why I put it off for almost one quarter of a century.

Never Again

Never again will I buy “this old house”. I want new, newish or old that’s already been completely remodeled. I was never gung-ho about remodeling, and this experience has reinforced that feeling. A crumbling old house can give you access to a close-in neighborhood for a bargain price – that it did. But it’s a deal with El Diablo as you confront a leaky roof, drafty rooms, creepy cabinets, no insulation, doors that stick and .. (Shall I go on?). I’m also not particularly handy with a hammer or a drill. I’m as likely to do a lot of damage as I am to fix something. I pay contractors out the wazoo to save my property from the damage my hands might do. The sum total of my practical knowledge is “Right Tighty Lefty Loosie”. That does not bode well for do-it-yourself.

The Two Doug’s

I’m reminded of the “two Doug’s” who revamped their kitchen in North Dallas. “It was so easy” they said as I looked at the appallingly misaligned tiles. It looked like it was done by a child or a chimp – either one grown bored of finger painting and looking for other free-form expression. I might ask, what is the point of do-it-yourself if it looks like crap? You saved a few dollars and have a standing monument to your own inadequacy. There are apprenticeships and trade schools for a reason – nothing is as easy as it looks. Stick to your day job people!

I Digress

My new kitchen is supposed to have maple cabinets, quartz counters, porcelain tile and new stainless appliances. It all remains to be seen.. When I had a garage built 10 years ago the contractor and I very nearly came to blows in the front yard. He had forgotten a detail in the contract and I was seeing red. We got around that issue but were wary of each other from that point. Circling distrust is not a good vantage point with a contractor.

Drawing a Conclusion

I will try to maintain peace and civility this time around. I will look forward to the new kitchen. And as God is my witness I will never, ever buy a crumbling old house again!

© 2015 Snillor Productions