In the Shadow of Madonna

Madonna as big sister? -- Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
I just finished listening to Christopher Ciccone’s Life with My Sister Madonna -- I had the book on tape for 6 months before I got to it. I thought it would be boring, but it was actually fascinating. Christopher’s book describes a love-hate sibling rivalry in which the creative, gay Christopher orbits as a satellite around his 2-year older, million-megawatt celebrity sister Madonna. Christopher’s book gives a first-hand look into the frailties, quirks and vulnerabilities of the Material Girl. From 1984 thru 2006 (when a quarrel left them estranged) Christopher was Madonna’s dresser, stage manager, backup dancer, decorator, and moral support. Though he is gay and a brother, I discern that Christopher probably felt like “first man” in Madonna’s life -- he probably felt usurped when Madonna married English producer Guy Richie who was apparently homophobic and unaccepting of Christopher’s orientation.

Ciccone’s book was generally panned as a disloyal rant from a disgruntled brother and ex-employee. I don’t get that from it at all -- in fact I think Christopher’s book is as much a brotherly love paean as a critique. Christopher and Madonna are both hugely talented and creative -- you can see where some professional jealousies as well as territorial feelings could creep in. I foresee that these two fellow travelers will get back together at some point. Some of Ciccone’s revelations about Madonna actually go counter to her public persona; she doesn’t drink or do drugs and is fairly modest around the house (no slinky gowns or underwear). Ciccone describes his sister as a highly disciplined task master who has total control over her finances and schedules. The “slutty girl” image is very much a fabrication for publicity. If Ciccone's stories are true, Madonna drew him into her sphere at various points with promises (apartment lodging, production roles) that she would then withdraw. That Ciconne would come running back over and over again reminds me just a little bit of Lucy and Charlie Brown with the football.

It looks like the undoing of the sibling togetherness happened in the mid 90’s when Madonna befriended Ingrid -- a wealthy gossip from Miami who convinced Madonna that Christopher was hopped up on drugs (true, in part but highly exaggerated). Madonna withdrew her patronage from Christopher’s design efforts, and even eventually refused final payment on a couple of the projects she‘d engaged him in. At one point where Madonna was raking in $53 million a year, her poor brother was tanking in his restaurant business, begging rides after his car was repossessed, and scrounging up money for a $10K medical bill.

I don’t see this book as sour grapes. I too have an extremely out-going popular older brother. I spent my teenage and college years being “Bryan’s brother”. I can tell from Christopher’s account (even his gift with words) that he’s an extremely smart and talented person -- someone who would shine brightly if he wasn’t having to shine next to Venus or the Sun. What I read between the lines is that Christopher and Madonna are soul mates of sorts -- people who have actually accommodated each other’s dysfunctions since a shared childhood. They have a love that can probably survive the nastiest of fights. This book is a great, albeit slightly voyeuristic read. There aren’t so much heroes and villains as much as flesh-and-blood people. There’s no black and white dichotomy -- just a thousand interesting shades of gray.

© 2009 blogSpotter

Shuffle Kerfuffle

The next G4 Cube? -- Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
Today’s blog will be a twofer -- movie review and technical review. Neither thing is getting a rave review, so I’ll be brief with my cruel comments. :-)

As all my friends and acquaintances know, I’m a bit of an Apple nut. If you saw my house, you’d think you might have wandered into an Apple store. I have virtually every product they sell, sometimes in multiple colors and configurations. I’m the “early adaptor” who frequently succumbs to their new product overtures. There are limits though -- I never considered buying the G4 Cube that resembled a Kleenex box. And their latest Shuffle leaves me completely cold.

I thought design snazziness was an essential part of Apple appeal. Why then, does the new Shuffle look like an inexpensive cigarette lighter? And why do the designers make you forsake all of your existing headphones and tape adaptors to use the new headphones that contain the device controls built into the cord?

The coup de grace was when I tried using one at the store. The touted voiceover feature annoys me, and the play/pause control is hard for someone like me with fat fumble fingers to use. Then, where the previous version comes in pretty colors, this one comes in depression gray or recession silver. Why do I not feel compelled to rush out and buy a $79 cigarette lighter? Apple -- cut your losses now and clear this clinker from the shelves.

Lets move on to “B” movies -- the Shuffle story is too upsetting. Today I rented Nobel Son on Apple TV. (See, I still use and love certain Apple products. I’m also listening to Classic Radio on iTunes as I type this).


Winner of the Tribeca Film Festival? -- Picture courtesy of Gimme Five Productions

Nobel Son is about a dysfunctional family where the father is an insensitive, horrible lout who also happens to be a Nobel Prize-winning chemist. The movie centers around a bizarre kidnapping scam involving his college-age son and a few nefarious others. The movie plays like a film project by an overly ambitious RTF major. It’s choppy, chaotic and thoroughly confusing -- it has more twists than a plate of spaghetti. With Danny Davito, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen and Bill Pullman it has more sitcom retreads than a TVLand special of Where Are They Now?

BUT -- I have to say this… the move was rather enjoyable anyhow. I’m reminded of what Judith Christ (movie reviewer of yore) once said: One of the major functions of a movie is to entertain you and keep you engaged. It doesn’t have to send a message, educate or uplift. Nobel Son was downright silly, but I did have to watch to the end, to see how the RTF student who wrote the script wrapped up his screenplay. It would never be in the running for Oscars, but what the hey.

So there you have it -- an iPod shuffle that’s a dud and a movie that’s basically crud. I was on-call for my job this weekend, wasn’t expecting any great shakes to happen. I wasn’t disappointed or surprised in any way.

© 2009 blogSpotter

The Tawdry Tale of Jack Ryan

Ryan on the campaign trail -- Picture courtesy of Illinois Channel

by blogSpotter
If you believe in chaos theory, you will have good fodder with the tawdry tale of Jack Ryan. Ryan is the 49-year old ex-Senatorial candidate from Illinois who lost to Barack Obama in 2004. Ryan is a model-handsome businessman who had much of the world handed him on the proverbial silver platter. A graduate of Dartmouth and Harvard, Ryan became an investment banker at Goldman Sachs where he earned hundreds of millions of dollars. Ryan ran in 2004 on a conservative platform, emphasizing tax cuts and tort reform.

Back in the 90's, the handsome Ryan had some pretty nice arm candy in the form of his beautiful blonde then-wife Jeri. The 40-year old actress is best known for her role as Borg Seven in Star Trek: Voyager, although she had other acting credits -- notably Co-ed Call Girl. Jack and Jeri had one son named Alex. Because they were both pursuing careers and traveling constantly, the marriage suffered -- it ended in divorce after 8 years in 1999. It wasn’t a particularly acrimonious divorce and both people agreed to keep the custody papers permanently sealed for privacy reasons.

If only the Chicago Tribune and a certain LA Superior court judge Robert Schnider had shared the Ryans' feelings about privacy .... The custody records were unsealed on June 22, 2004 and it was revealed that Jack Ryan had asked his wife to act out with him sexually, in public. He took her to various sex clubs in New York, Paris and New Orleans -- some with whips and chains, others with mattresses on the floors. She wasn’t interested, and felt weirdly pressured by these requests. Thus ended the marriage in ‘99. (Mind you, these are divorce allegations and not proven facts).

The rest of this is history. Ryan dropped out of the 2004 race and was replaced by Alan Keyes -- a loud and (by some estimations) obnoxious candidate who stood no chance against the practiced and honey-smooth Obama. Obama ran with the senatorial position and used it as the foundation for his Presidential quest. Ryan was already trailing Obama by 18 points in May 2004, but this was after an email campaign (started by Obama aides?) had already hit the internet. Apparently, Jack’s shenanigans were already public lore by this time. How might this have turned out if news media hadn't pushed to unseal the records? Ryan calls it a new low, and points out that similar privacy requests were honored for John Kerry and John McCain.

So a thorny weed takes root in 1999; it bends in the wind in 2004, and we have a different President in 2008. So goes chaos theory, and so goes the tawdry tale of Jack Ryan. Some might actually see this as karma, not chaos. After all, actions may have consequences. Whatever the case, Ryan is doing fine -- he now owns a company called 22nd Century Media in Chicago that publishes newspapers. Jeri is remarried to famous French Chef Eme and lives in Los Angeles. Obama is President.

© 2009 blogSpotter

Bachelor: The Unaired Episode

Jason and girls, before things got ugly -- Picture courtesy of ABC

by blogSpotter
A lot of Bachelor fans were outraged at the recent “After the Final Rose” episode where bachelor Jason ditched Melissa, his initial selection for Molly, the runner-up. He basically decided he made a mistake and decided to go with his heart. ABC insisted that the boyishly handsome, 32-year old divorced father confront both women with his decision on air. What people don’t realize is that there was a “Before the After the Final Rose” episode. BlogSpotter has the exclusive transcript of this episode. ABC thought better of airing the whole thing….

ABC STUDIOS, MARCH 2009
Jason, Melissa and the ABC host are seated on the set. The host is off to the side, to allow the lovebirds a little proximity and privacy, never mind the national audience.

JASON
Melissa, I have to confess -- I’m really in love with Molly. It was a mistake to rush into this.

MELISSA
You’ve GOT to be kidding. I’m wearing your ring, we’ve made wedding plans!

JASON
About that -- can I have that back? It was like 50 grand. Molly and I need that for Cozumel.

MELISSA
You asshole! How do you mend a broken heart? You mend it with 50K for starters.

EMCEE
May I interject? This is getting heated -- let’s move it along. Jason, tell us why you fell out of love with Melissa so suddenly?

JASON
Well, it could be the snoring. Maybe the thing with the smelly feet. But she kept nattering on about her cats and her ex-fiancé. It’s kind of a toss.

MELISSA
OK, OK this is out of bounds. Jason, I politely didn’t mention your impotence, your juvenile reliance on your high school nerd friends, and your bratty kid. I abstained from all of that because I respect your privacy.

JASON
Look, I had to use a Cialis after I saw you naked.

EMCEE
All right, we steered this the wrong way. Things are even more heated. Let’s dial it back…. Jason, can you just tell us what you like better about Molly.

JASON
OK, this is better. Yeah, Molly was easier to talk to and we both love boating. And I have to be honest Molly has a better rack.

MELISSA (having to be restrained)
Mo-fo, you’re about to die!!

EMCEE
Chill, chill -- everybody chill. Lets just bring Molly out and see if she can tell us anything that would clarify all of this, minus the negative emotions.


MOLLY (entering the set, sitting down)
Well at first, I didn’t like the idea of being sloppy seconds. But now to be honest, I think Melissa was like an order of potato skins and I’m the entrée.

MELISSA
You whore!

MOLLY
You bitch!

JASON
Girls! Enough! Where’s the dignity in this?

EMCEE
We have to go to commercial. Tune in next week when Molly, Melissa and Jason settle their issues once and for all. It will be After the Final Rose and Before the Felony Assault.

***
Apparently ABC decided this was too raw, and had the players do a more rehearsed presentation. You have the advantage, reading SF, to know what really went down.

© 2009 blogSpotter

Hush, Limbaugh!

Mugging for mug shot -- Picture courtesy of TSG

by blogSpotter
Rush, Rush, Rush. What more can we say about this chubby bubba blowhard that dominates airwaves of rightwing talk radio? The host of a nationally syndicated radio show, Rush is credited by the National Review for single-handedly upholding the chastity of the Right during the Clinton years. In a 2005 op-ed piece for WSJ, Rush opined, "We (conservatives) believe in individual liberty, limited government, capitalism, the rule of law, faith, a color-blind society and national security". His "color-blind" phrase must refer to his Affirmative Action stance. After all, Rush has referred to Obama as "Halfrican American" and said (during a brief NFL announcing gig) that Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted "a black quarterback to do well".

The chubba-bubba we love to diss hails from an old, established family in Cape Giardeau, Missouri. The Limbaughs are a long line of lawyers, with only Rush taking a right turn into showbiz and celebrity. Rush has actually done guest stints on a number of shows -- Pat Sajak, The Late Show, and The Simpsons to name a few. He's been married 3 times, each one ending in divorce after a few years. Back in 2003, Rush was exposed by National Enquirer as a frequent user of Oxycodone and even implicated in the illegal practice of "doctor shopping". He was actually arrested for the doctor shopping but charges were dropped after he agreed to rehab and payment of $30K in court costs. Rush claims to be completely deaf, although a cochlear implant has enabled his harassing ways to continue.

Rush, the bloviating wind machine, has been involved in so many controversies that I have to sum them up in bullet format:

o He suggested that Parkinson’s sufferer Michael J. Fox was faking his spastic arm gestures.
o He suggested that Iraq vets critical of the war were "phony soldiers" who only wanted to receive benefits.
o He tried to instigate (but failed) Operation Chaos where Republicans would vote for Hillary in the 2008 Democratic primaries.
o He described feminists as feminazis whose purpose was to give ugly women social access and ensure maximum abortions.
o He called Obama the "Magic Negro" in a take-off of Puff the Magic Dragon.
o He said on his show "I hope Obama fails" in January 2009 -- spent the next month refining that message to make it seem less ad hominem.
o He locked horns with the new GOP Chairman, Michael Steele, saying he wasn't fit to be chairman.
o He resorted to gross gags on his show. He "aborted" a phone call with the sound of a vacuum cleaner and a scream.

We don't really need to go on ... Rush's antics are almost so far to the edge that they seem like self-parody, or something out of a John Waters movie. Here are some groups who've been spurred into official Limbaugh repudiation:

o Fairness and Accuracy in reporting (FAIR)
o VoteVets.org
o Media Matters
o Environmental Defense Fund

I will have to be honest and admit -- some of the above makes me laugh out loud. I hardly agree with a word of it but the pure audacity and unflinching nerve of it are impressive to me. Rush seems to be related however distantly to Anne Coulter, another conservative pundit with a pugilistic wit. I won't be tuning into Rush's show anytime soon, but I will enjoy the circus atmosphere and negative examples he frequently provides to us all.

© 2009 blogSpotter