Confessions of a Know-it-all

Strange Fascination now available as a PDF -- Picture by blogSpotter

by blogSpotter
About a month ago, I was at Starbucks typing away. I was on the blogger.com web site and one of my friends must’ve distracted me. I‘d filtered all my articles by topic and when I clicked to see them all again, they were gone. There was a moment of stark panic and my clothes were soaked with sweat. Had I just killed off 5 years worth of writing -- 415 entries? I knew from previous trials that deleted blogs are next-to-impossible to restore.

It turns out that I simply did a “suppress all” instead of a “view all”. It was still foolhardy of me to trust any single service up to this time with so much vital material – time to back it all up. The next day I went to another site, blog2print, and requested PDF files, as well as printed copies of the blogs. I saved and printed off all the blog articles but then I had to ponder (and still am pondering) … what exactly have I saved?

blogSpotter, aka Robert, is not a sought-after expert on any particular topic. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science and a Masters in Business Administration. I’ve tagged my articles by topic and only 34 are tagged as technology. Most of those are product reviews – nothing to do with hash code algorithms or quick sort. A paltry 17 articles are tagged as business. These are primarily aimed as political barbs and not really too concerned with the most-preferred mutual fund or the value of Chinese currency. In essence, I like to run on (and on) :-). 106 articles have been tagged as politics and 56 tagged as cinema. Maybe my real passion is political science or performing arts? But if you look at the topic list on http://strange-fascination.blogspot.com, you’ll notice that my observations are all over the map – even linguistics and health.

The one topic you won't see is sports. For some reason, my creator deemed that Robert – an adult, male Dallasite, should have no interest or involvement in sports whatsoever. And so it is. The only time I’ve ever found sports interesting is when there’s a story-behind-the-story such as with Tiger Woods’ marriage or Lance Armstrong dating Sheryl Crow. Let me add that I sincerely wish I had a sports interest but it’s not something you can fake.

blogSpotter has submitted his articles to publications like Slate a few times, only to be told “not at this time”. When I compare my silly 3-paragraph blurbs to the carefully researched and lengthy articles of George Will or Froma Harrop, I have to admit there’s a Q problem (that is, in the areas of quality and quantity). Great things have been said efficiently before. “Veni, vidi vici,” for instance. But everything is context and I’m not Julius Caesar.

When I first started blogging in 2005, I devoured The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. He made some excellent points which I promptly ignored… “Don’t be wordy and complex when a simple phrase suffices”. Rules are made to be broken and I figured that people need my pregnant, pedagogical paragraphs. As I’ve gone back and reread (and winced at) some entries, I have to admit that we have rules for a reason. Another rule from Style: “Murder your pets”. Don’t use favorite words or idioms to death. (In fact, don’t have favorites).

I have a virtual menagerie of pets that need strangling. Here are some words that have cropped up repeatedly in my blog articles:

Cultural touchstone
Mind-boggling
Postulation
Proposition
Screed
Sepia hues
Speculation

Can I help it that so many movies use subdued colors and “sepia hued” is so descriptive of that? I need to help it if I don’t want to seem like a retread. I’ll make one more remark before wrapping this up – brevity is the soul of wit as well as good communication. I’ve written a few too many “book reports” – carefully researched stories that are devoid of any revelation or personality. They tend to drone on without any stimulus so to speak. I won’t say which, because I want you to read them all… :-). I’ve also written a couple that might be punched up a little and make it to a publisher somewhere. See if you can find the needles in the haystack. And thanks to anyone and everyone who reads Strange Fascination with any regularity. The know-it-all who writes of himself in 3rd person might occasionally know at least something.

© 2010 blogSpotter

Robert's Comedy Pantheon

It's a Tie -- Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter

Preface
I had another article all ready for publication (my historical magnum opus on John Wilkes Booth). Then upon reading it, I fell soundly asleep – and I’m the author. I don’t do ‘book reports’ and yet that’s what it was – a bore, a snore and a dismal fact dump. Think I do better sometimes when I “pull it out of my ass” as David Letterman describes Dr. Phil’s advice. You may still get a highly revised John Wilkes Booth story later, but for now, from out of my ass, is Robert’s Comedy Pantheon…...

Comedy Heroes
I love standup comedy and I’ll normally stop what I’m doing to catch a good stand-up act on Leno, Letterman or Comedy Central. I have 6 favorites on my iPod: Kathy Griffin, Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, Wanda Sykes, Lisa Lampanelli and Lewis Black. I’ve noticed an interesting thing: Some comics I’ll listen to repeatedly and some annoy me after one or two listenings. Herewith, I’ll rate these guys based on originality, delivery, “No fear” factor and a fourth “Je ne sais quoi” catch-all category for miscellaneous things. This is a little out of my usual comfort zone, like when I rated hamburgers (Whataburger was #1); sometimes we have to break out of the mold dammit. Now let’s look at our list of comics …

#1 Kathy Griffin – I already blogged about Kathy. I love her show, My Life on the D List, and here’s a short blurb why. She doesn’t flinch from anything be it her mother drinking a box of wine or Barbara Walters using Astro-glide. She has sacrificed relationships for comedy material – that’s a person dedicated to the cause. She’s nearly fearless, plumbs lots of new material and has a great delivery. She’s dubbed herself an “honorary gay man” and done a trip to Iraq to entertain troops. Last but not least she said, “Jesus can suck it” when getting an Emmy. Christians everywhere, it was a joke meant to shock. Shock it did – I think Jesus is probably over it, I don’t know about everyone else.

#1 (it’s a tie) Patton Oswalt – I’ve also blogged about Patton Oswalt. His near schizo bits about dying in the George Bush Apocalypse, Physics for Poets or Stelladora Breakfast treats but him in the super-brave, uber original category. I truly think he’s brilliant. Much like a poet laureate, he has tremendous command of English (he majored in English) and he fairly spills his guts in talking about various observations and insecurities. He’s comedy gold that everyone should enjoy. He’s played a lovable loser in shows like King of Queens, so he’s someone to enjoy on many levels.

#2 Jim Gaffigan – Jim is a tall, sardonic nearly albino comedy actor and stand-up artist who makes wry, dry observations about everyday life. He doesn’t take on show-biz or political giants as do Kathy and Patton. His comedy is more likely to highlight his wife, coworkers, fans or people he meets on the street. He speaks of the man at K-Mart who was drinking a cup of gravy. He speaks again of sleeping so long he’s tired when he wakes up. He has a running gag on Hot Pocket sandwiches. He’s extremely self-deprecating and makes a lot of jokes about his paleness and perceived lack of sex appeal. He even produced a cartoon short called Pale Force featuring him and Conan O’Brien. Jim is hilarious – he’s been all over TV and movies (Sex and the City, Going the Distance). Check out his stand-up routine on CD if you want to see him up-close and personal.

#3 Wanda Sykes – Wanda is the wry, sarcastic (now recently out) black woman who’s known more as a comedy actress. She plays the sidekick on shows like New Adventures of Old Christine but has also appeared on many shows like those of Chris Rock and Bill Maher. Her stand-up comedy is fairly blue and people who know her from sitcoms might be “shocked and appalled” at things like a detachable vagina and similar stuff. She also riffs on racial themes (“white people commit more crimes but don’t get caught”) which are pretty good in context. Her delivery has a grating, know-it-all aspect to it that starts to annoy me on the second listen. Also, I disagree that Nasa should be canceled – I’m a space nerd that likes that program. Have to say I probably disagree with a couple of her pet issues. She’s not “out there” in the ether of Left Field like Patton, Kathy or Jim so not as entertaining to me.

#4 Lewis Black – There was a time when I thought Lewis Black was so funny, I’ve blogged about him before. Then I realized a couple of things (one which Seth McFarland pointed out on Family Guy)… he yells his punch lines as if the yelling will embellish the humor. It’s novel and funny until it becomes completely annoying. What I also noticed is that he’s kind of a wuss on subject matter. He attacks innocuous things like candy corn and adults who dress up at Halloween. (Yawn). He goes after politicians like George Bush and Rick Santorum long after there are any comedy credits for bravery or astuteness (and after everyone else has already piled on). Otherwise, he’s actually fairly apolitical and to be honest, a little boring.

#5 Lisa Lampanelli – This loudmouth Italian woman is a little too old (48-ish) and big to be categorized as a comedy ho or bimbo. She’s discovered a comedy mother lode by being an equal opportunity offender to every racial and sexual minority. She goes on at length about “gooks, spics and butt pirates” and most of her targets take it in good fun. Her “ticket” if you will is that she craves black men and gay men are her best friends. She’s very self-deprecating so that a self-demolition gives license for an everyone-else-demolition. I think some people will be offended to be honest. I have to admit I laughed by butt off the first time I listened to her Queen of Mean. Then on second listening I realized that she (like Lewis Black) yells her jokes – she also recycles a lot. How many times can you replay black, gay or Asian stereotypes without sounding like a broken record? She’s funny but it’s a one-listen, one-trick pony.

So there you have it – Robert’s Comedy Pantheon. I didn’t include dead people (George Carlin) and I didn’t include people who primarily host (Conan O’Brien) or act (Ben Stiller). The world of funny people is a densely populated one when you consider everyone there is. My list of comics above might seem pretty left field – these guys probably won’t be appearing in Branson, MO anytime soon. blogSpotter would be interested in knowing who else is funny that I might’ve overlooked. The world can be sort of gray and dull at times – let’s hear it for the people who make us laugh.

© 2010 blogSpotter

The Second Incarnation of Apple TV

Is it a must-have now? -- Picture courtesy of Apple

by blogSpotter
As a consummate Apple fan, I’d be remiss not to comment on Apple’s latest round of product announcements regarding iPod and Apple TV. As regular readers know, I’ve purchased almost (but not quite) every product Apple offers – sometimes in multiple colors and configurations. What’s that you say? Too much time and money on my hands? Maybe so. Let me clarify that I don’t buy everything Apple. Things I’ve bypassed: MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, G4 Cube and the 2009 voice-over shuffle. These things are variously redundant, over-priced, gimmicky or ill-conceived. So there you have it – I draw the line at some things Apple!

Before tackling Apple TV (aka, ATV), I’d like to comment on the new iPod lineup. I knew that iPad might introduce product-line cannibalism earlier this year, and it looks like it did. It created a wave that dipped its way through the high end of the iPod lineup. iPod Touch users gravitated over to the large, splashy iPad. Nano users had already been migrating to iPod Touch – it’s slightly more expensive than Nano with way more features including wi-fi. Apple decided to address these drifts by basically eliminating the Nano as we know it. The new Nano is a small, music-only device the size of a York Peppermint patty. They’ve dumped all TV and movies as well as the video camera. I think that’s a lot of good functionality to dump in one swoop.

The new Nano is for all practical purposes a gussied-up touch screen Shuffle. The basic Shuffle has been restored to its 2008 clip-on style, with no screen. Can’t help thinking that the oblong, bright-colored 2009 video Nano has a reasonable following and market. Maybe in September 2011, they’ll replace the basic Shuffle with what is now the new 2010 Nano. Then bring back the 2009 video Nano – it really has a following believe it or not. blogSpotter hates to admit he owns four of these (in kiwi green, emerald green, blue & purple). One or two will be gifted shortly.

About the Apple TV – I’ve blogged about it a couple of times now, and I own the original 2007 version. My complaint all along has been that ATV is too limited – it mostly restricts you to iTunes offerings (e.g. a standard definition, recently released movie for $3.99 or $4.99 in HD format). I was hoping they’d throw the doors open wide to Boxee, Hulu, Netflix and other non-Apple Internet offerings. In fact, a hacker group provided that capacity in the last couple of years but it was a non-Apple-approved hack. Apple doesn’t treat hackers kindly – the penalty imposed for a hack (be it on the iPhone or ATV) is that hackers must disavow and overwrite the installed hack if they want any future upgrade to the OS.

The 2010 ATV has a few significant changes (albeit less than I expected) ...

• It now includes Netflix (with a beautiful ATV interface)… that was on my wish list above
• It’s a rent-only model – there’s no hard drive and nothing can be purchased.
• TV shows are now rentable at 99 cents per episode
• It’s small enough now to hold in one hand
• The price has been reduced to $99

These features are a mixed bag. The absence of a hard drive will allow the always-on device to stay cool. The current ATV has no on/off button – it goes into a standby mode where it remains hot enough to fry an egg. I’ll look forward to coolness. The small sizing is always good for fitting into a crowded video component shelf. The Netflix saves me from using an HDMI switch to another device like Wii or Samsung blu-ray.

I only rent nowadays, so the rent-only restriction won’t bother me – but still it’s taking away the purchase option that some people might’ve enjoyed using. I’m a little surprised that they didn’t open it up further to other entertainment venues – ATV may get cannibalized by its sibling product, the new Mac Mini which offers an HDMI connection now. With Mac Mini, you could use Front Row and Safari to see anything from iTunes and anything on the Internet (including Adobe Flash apps).

Mac nerd that I am, I might buy ATV for the Netflix convenience and because the prior ATV will no longer receive software upgrades. If you already have a good digital cable service (say, Time Warner or Comcast), you probably already have a good selection of recent-release pay-per-view movies in the $3.99 -$4.99 range. If you have that and Wii, the ATV would be kind of redundant. If you want to open up the whole world of streaming entertainment and have a mac computer too, the Mac Mini might fill the bill. Stand by for later ramblings after I obtain the touch-screen Nano (probably red this time) and yes, the new $99 Apple TV.

© 2010 blogSpotter