Sears of 1897 Had Everything

Apply in circular motions to the bust -- Picture Courtsesy Sears

by blogSpotter
I'm looking at the 1897 catalog for Sears, Roebuck and Company. It's so mind-boggling, I feel that I need to break this into two blogs -- one for the drug department, and one for all else. Looking at the 1897 "Consumers Guide", it appears that things have moved backward since 1897; 110 years ago we had proven cures and elixirs for much that ails us now. For example, if you were a flat-chested alcoholic woman, you could fix it all on pages 1 and 3. Bust cream from Seroco Laboratories would enlarge the bosom. Meanwhile, 24 doses of German Liquor Cure would remove all desire for liquor.

Now let's suppose that you were a fat, bald man. Princess Hair Tonic would "arrest your falling hair" while Dr. Rose's Obesity Powders would cause the pounds of the fat man to melt away. There was a money back guarantee advertised throughout the catalog, and I can only imagine that people buying these tonics psyched themselves into believing that they worked. Other medications offered were (literal product names) "Nerve and Brain Pills", "Female Pills for Weak Women", and "Tobacco to the Dogs" which would cure you of all desire for tobacco. I don't know that tobacco was yet associated with lung cancer, but apparently it had a bad name just the same.



Nevermind AA -- Picture Courtsesy Sears

I would be remiss to not mention the more substantial over-the-counter wonders of the day. They had Hammond's Sarsaparilla for the Skin, Electricating Liniment for Man or Beast, Blackberry Balsam for Cholera, and Speedy Cure Pile Remedy. Who would be using liniment on a beast? I don't even want to know. Mixed in with these were products that have survived to this day, but probably no longer at Sears: herbal tea, petroleum jelly, spirits of camphor and cough syrup. Before I laugh too much at all the silly things above, I have only to think about "natural" cures offered now at health food stores or the amazing weight loss powders you can still get at the corner Walgreens.

We live this life mostly as healthy, hopefully disease-free people. But God has still visited the Minor Afflictions upon us -- nuisances that do not kill, but do not thrill: obesity, indigestion, baldness, overindulgence and bunions. They are things which for the most part won't put you in the grave, but neither will they put you on the A-List. It's interesting to see that my great-great Uncle Wells fought some of the same demons as I confront. Considering that 2007 offers nothing much better than 12 step programs and spray-on hair, maybe my Uncle Wells was onto something better. Seroco Laboratories wouldn't hedge the truth would they?? If ever we get a Time Machine, I'll stop off in 1897 for the various cures.

I'm thinking of doing a follow-up blog on other parts of this catalog. The slogan really is true -- "There's More for Your Life at Sears". Even 1897 Sears.

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