What, Nobody Dumb Enough?

Bush being Bush

by blogSpotter
I was **horrified** when Bush was reelected in 2004. At that point in time, the list of his malfeasances and gross incompetencies was already a mile long. How could Americans reelect such a man? Forgot what he did? Let me remind you with these broad categories:

1. Iraq -- He used dubious documents later found to be forged as proof of Iraqi uranium enrichment and claimed the presence of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. He further claimed a strong link between Sadam Hussein and Al Quaeda. He shamed Colin Powell by having him present this tainted information to the UN as the truth. He mired us in the Iraqi civil war which has consumed 3600 American lives and counting.
2. Budget deficit -- He turned a strong surplus into a deep deficit with pork barrel spending all thru his tenure.
3. Environment -- He turned his back on the green movement, seeking most of his "ecological" advice from cronies such as Enron, Halliburton and Exxon.
4. Religious Right -- He pandered blatantly to Christian conservatives, and even tried to tear down the wall of Church/State separation by allowing tax funds to go to religious charities.
5. Torture -- He turned a blind eye to the deplorable conditions at Abu Ghraib and even recommended further erosions to laws barring torture in the Geneva Convention.

Even his personal mannerisms are an embarrassment to America -- his abuse of the English language and his chimp-like facial expressions are hardly Presidential. But they do bespeak the mentality that lies beneath. This is who 51% of America liked best in 2004.

Now it appears from the latest AP-Ipsos poll, that none of the top Republican front-runners has captured anyone's heart. Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, John McCain and Mitt Romney appear to fail the GOP smell test. Evangelicals in particular cannot find anyone to relate to. Unspoken prejudice probably rules out two of them -- Giuliani is Italian and Romney is Mormon. For Thomspon and McCain I can only counsel them with a modified run-down of my earlier blog "The South has Risen Again". In that blog, I gave the profile of a successful Democrat, but much of the same still applies to the GOP. And here we have it:

WINNER'S PROFILE:

1. Anglo, married male
2. Adherent of mainstream protestant religion -- probably Baptist or Methodist
3. Speak with a noticeable Southern accent or folksy manner, avoid big words
4. Be fiscally conservative and center-to-right on social issues.
5. Come across as a simple, straight shooter. Americans regard intellectuals as snobs.
6. Avoid displays of wealth -- live more simply. Americans distrust showiness.

Looking at the field of candidates all across the board, including Democrats, nobody qualifies. You'll notice that Bill Clinton and W. Bush fit the bill pretty well but they can't run again. John Edwards gets $400 haircuts and lives in a palatial house. Arkansas’ Mike Huckabee almost works, but he’s been critical of the al Maliki government in Iraq. An independent streak comes dangerously close to being intellectual, which violates dictum #5, above. Can America vote for someone that doesn't have a Texas twang and eyes slightly crossed? Can we possibly nominate a candidate who can pronounce "nuclear"? The GOP will have to keep looking. Nobody dumb enough or right-wing enough has captured the national fancy -- the field is still wide open. As to the future of America, I can only shudder. Foghorn Leghorn is a cartoon character, otherwise he'd be perfect. Granted he's just a rooster, but he comes across a few IQ points higher than W Bush.

Back in 2004, a W supporter in a political chat room laughed and said that Bush haters would prefer a toaster oven to Bush (and he accurately predicted that Bush would win). Sadly I have to say he was right on every score. A toaster oven wouldn't have done so many other unmentionable things. GOP, it looks like you need to go find your W Bush equivalent. Apparently he hasn't joined the race yet.

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