Double-Wide Saturday Night

A night of culture and refinement..Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

February 28, 2016

Today it’s been kind of overcast and chilly – but still 20 degrees warmer than normal for Texas winter. I’ll have to adjust to the 62 degree cold spell. I’m in my new favorite hang-out, Central Market Café. I just had “linner” (lunch-dinner) which consisted of Thai coleslaw, Chinese tofu and artichoke hummus. The café is bright and airy, mid-century modern. The walls are painted intense orange-red and the tables all have a centerpiece rose floating in a vase of water. The crowd is riveting mix of trendy people – it’s better than sitting at the international terminal at DFW.

Topic Du Jour

But enough about that.. One might think from what I just described that I’m a high maintenance person with exotic tastes. This café is about as exotic as it gets. In fact, I’m fairly casual and low-key in my overall approach to life. I was pondering the other day what would be a perfect Saturday night for me now. That night has happened many times already if the truth be told. My perfect night doesn’t involve any big outlay of money; it involves nothing approaching a fine romance.

Perfect Setting

I like a comfortable family/living room. That means comfort over style – it means lazy boy recliners and heavily pillowed couches (with snuggies and blankets as needed). There might be a space heater, there might be a fireplace with a crackling fire. The overall ambience is “unpretentious, double-wide”. The floor is carpeted for lazing on the floor and the artwork is in the genre of Budweiser Ads or “Dogs Playing Poker”. There might be maple paneling as wall covering.

Entertainment

We’re not talking Opera here to be certain. My vaguely trashy living room has a 70 inch 4K HD television as a main fixture. What we saved on décor has been poured into a kick-ass TV for the many hours of luxuriant TV watching. Sports and NASCAR might be allowed for friends and relatives while I’m out of the room. When I come back, it needs to be something challenging like a Larry the Cable Guy / Adam Sandler type movie. The idea is for it to be silly enough that you don’t lose the plot by visiting the fridge or the bathroom. The quality of show may ratchet up to a TBS movie or Downton Abbey if the audience is small.

Refreshments and Furry Companions

Food and drink is very important. It should be something like the giant tin of flavored popcorn – available at SAM’s. There could also be leftover Popeye’s fried chicken, nachos, and 3-layer brownies. For the drinkers in the crowd, beer and boxes of wine should be on hand. Coke, tea and coffee for the non-drinkers such as me. Did I mention a double-wide ambience? 

To fill out the fantasy, there should be two cats and a dog or two dogs and a cat. The dogs should be receptive to sock tug-of-war or fetch games during the commercials. The cats can just be themselves, no special actions required. And yes – there will be animal hair as well as chew toys strewn about.

People and Miscellaneous

This room would probably be appalling to a clean freak or any finicky person. Stay off of my cloud if this is you.. In my re-imagining, I’m there with parents, brothers, in-laws and cousins. There is no romantic angle although there certainly could be. Nobody is wearing a tuxedo and nobody is trying to impress anybody else. Leave right now if this is you! But by all means grab a chicken leg and a beer if you’re amenable to this evening of comfort food and great companions. A perfect evening if ever there was.

© 2016 Snillor Productions

Baskets Case

Tears of a clown..Pic courtesy of Wikipedia

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

I’m back in the Central Market Café.. It’s chilly and overcast outside, possibly about to rain. I’m eating a strawberry goat cheese muffin and drinking Guatemalan coffee with inflections of apple and vanilla. It took me 10 minutes to park, and their express checkout lines are 35 people deep. I think what we might need, HEB, is some more of these places. A team of Spanish soccer players just sat behind me.. the people-watching here is without equal.

JOB

My job has become incredibly busy. I volunteered for a “bleeding edge” technology assignment and I’m getting the expected pandemonium from that. Am hoping that we get things back on an even keel before too long.

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

For some reason, February has become a month for major series and movie premieres. We have a new Cohen Brothers movie (Hail Caesar) and a new Zoolander movie. TV is giving us the OJ Trial (FX’s American Crime Story), and a new X Files with the original writers and actors at their paranormal best. NBC is giving us an incredible British-American ensemble with You, Me and the Apocalypse. Its far-fetched premise still lands upon genuine pathos and humor.

The little show that has grabbed me completely, is a half hour FX comedy titled Baskets. It stars Zach Galifianakis as a failed clown, Chip Baskets, who has to move back in with his portly mother in Bakersfield, California. His mother is played with credibility and hilarity by male stand-up comedian Louis Anderson. With muumuu and wig, Anderson could easily play his own mom – maybe yours or mine too.

Chip is dogged by his much more successful twin brother Dale, also played by Galifianakis. Dale is a smarmy businessman who’s moderately successful life coaching center has outshined the unfortunate Chip. Among other indignities, Chip is married to a French beauty who loves him not – she only married him for a green card. She teases him with her scantily clad body, making it clear it is look but don’t touch.

Chip engages as a rodeo clown where there is basically no minimum standard. The manager lets him know that it’s a tiny wage with a high risk of injury. Anyone willing to make that wager is hired. Chip takes the job, but with the drawback of having to live at home.

Last but not least is Martha, the dull, plain Jane insurance adjuster who has come to nurture a crush on Chip. She drives him around in her Olds Cierra, helping him in his various attempts to win back his wife (that he never had) and to otherwise establish a modicum of his self-respect. Martha and Chip’s mother together create the surreal gravity that holds this weird universe together.

Coming from the house of dysfunction myself, I love how the freaky is oddly familiar. I love that laugh-out-loud moments might immediately be followed by a moment of sad reflection and introspection.

I also enjoy Chip’s complete inability to see himself, his marriage, his family, his career choice or Martha in any accurate light. His delusions carry each episode on gilded wings to the next ridiculous situation. The long-suffering Martha picks him up off the floor.. and so we go again. If you have FX on cable, please make it a point to see this wonderful show. It only has 8 episodes for season 1 and there’s no guarantee of a season 2 – see it while you can.

© 2016 Snillor Productions