Skintillation
Ponderous thoughts about pendulous bosoms -- Picture courtesy Luke Ford/Wikipedia
by Erica
Hi, my name is Erica. I'm a former Penthouse Pet and today I'm the guest writer for blogSpotter. The photographer made a mistake in the picture above -- got a picture of my decolletage rather than my face. I suppose he was looking at my ample bosoms which can be pretty distracting. The black, lacy dress probably didn't help matters any. Men think that I'm all about my breasts and that there's nothing going on upstairs. That is so untrue. If you saw a list of my turn ons and turn offs, chauvinist men are on there somewhere. I mean, I want you to like my breasts but I want you to like all of me too.
OK, Erica has a confession to make. Erica is blogSpotter and I'm conducting a blog experiment (sexperiment if you will). Two blogs I've written in the last few months that have garnered many hits are "American Idolatry" and "Women in Cages 2007". "American Idolatry" was a somewhat negative critique of a show I seldom watch. "Women in Cages 2007" was a silly fluff piece which happened to have a provocative title and a picture of Paris Hilton with a shirt unbuttoned. I have to figure that I get more site hits when I have something sexually oriented and/or inane as the draw. Women are less visually oriented than men so the pictures that get the most visits are pictures of women.
A blog is a bit like a hair salon -- you have regular customers, but walk-ins are welcome. If someone is surfing across all the blogs in the blogger domain, they may just happen on an interesting title, picture or byline in my blog and start to read. I write about a lot of things -- music, art, and politics. I'd love to stimulate thought or discussion about those topics. That's all that this blog is looking to stimulate. But if I want to pull in an audience, it looks like I need pendulous bosoms to draw the audience in. What kind of sick, porno mentality do we have out there? Worse yet, where can I find royalty-free material so I can continue to supply what the customer wants? My own bosoms are not very pendulous, being a man and all. What a sad state of affairs for the human intellect.
In "Television for Dummies" I decried the fact that Americans have devolved into anti-intellectual Cretins that like shows about sex and bodily functions. It should come to me as no great surprise that blogs are the same. In the interest of keeping an audience, blogSpotter will have to occasionally use double entendres, cheap come-ons and skintillating pictures. I'll have to apologize if further down in the article there is, dare I say an idea about something. Think of it as a compressed Playboy, where you get the article and the cheesecake all in one pop. I can't help it that pendulous bosoms and ideas must coexist in one universe. We'll just have to find a way to make that accommodation. I must walk the line between grand ideas and cheap titillation. Tell me I didn't just use that word.
© 2007 blogSpotter
Labels: Humor, Retrospective, Sex and Sexuality
posted by blogspotter @ 7:49 AM
6 Comments:
For all of the topics that you cover, and I read, I can't imagine why I am compelled to make the effort to reply to this particular picture, I mean article.
I was doing some high speed scrolling down the page when somehow my eyeballs registered Erica's picture and the brain sent a signal to the fingers to stop and back up a little.
Erica, this is David. Let's get together and discuss the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I want you to tell me your feelings about how and why we can't know both the position and momentum of an electron. There's other positions and momentums that I wish to discuss also. Oh, and wear something slutty!
Let's talk about quantum mechanics, how two things can be in a different place at the same time. Ooh, that sounds wrong.
xxx,
Erica
Dear Erica,
You naughtly little physicist you. I love mixing science and pleasure. That's always been a little quark of mine. Some mechanics I'm good at, others not so good. If the task requires a Crescent wrench then I'll probably hire someone to do it for me. But I'm a good study of physiological mechanics. Capable of many things at once. I have often had an interest to explore the seventh planet while at the sametime sending a Voyager probe into other regions of space. It's just my way of making heavenly bodies explode like a Supernova. Interested in exploding?
Silly me. I was painting my toenails a new color -- cinammon frost. It wasn't what I thought. Anyhow, I mispoke. Quantum is where one thing is in two different places at once, duh. That sounds more fun anyway.
I'm intrigued by all of your probes and technology. I need to be filled in on all the details.
xoxoxo
Erica
See, now that's what I'm talking about. Me being in two places at the sametime. I'm glad we're finally on the same page. I'm actually capable of being in three places at the sametime, but we'll discuss that another time.
Did you watch Idol last night? I don't seem to ever catch that show. But what about Naked Science? That show turned out a little different than I expected. As did the Wife Swapping show. I mean great fun-damental concepts behind the titles but poor execution with the content.
Baby, I want you to call me the next time you're getting f . . . fresh colors splashed on you. I want to hear all about, especially while it's happening.
This is blogSpotter again. I see where Eric the tramp was entering inappropriate posts, and have bannished her from the keyboard.
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