Women in Cages 2007

Hilton won't be at the Hilton -- Picture courtesy Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
America's favorite bad girl, Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in prison because of a parole violation. It seems she was going 70 mph in a 35 mph zone at night, with her lights off. Her license had already been suspended for previous civic wrongs. I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon with all the Paris bashers -- you really have to like Paris Hilton. The entertainment factor alone makes her worth having around. Rather than wave cautionary fingers or preach, I have decided to create a small sketch of what her life will be like in the Big House.

I'm hoping that the experience doesn't make her bitter toward the world. Maybe my small screenplay can be expanded by somebody like Miramax, and we can further explore the world of Paris. Here is just the beginning of my screenplay.

Working title: "The Last Time I Saw Paris"

-----
LYNWOOD PRISON, EVENING LOCKDOWN

Prison guard Foley is a butch-looking woman with short hair and military posture. She's checking all the cells to make sure the inmates are ready for lights out.

PRISON GUARD FOLEY
(Seeing Paris in her cell with banned items)

Miss Hilton! Where did you get that diamond studded jump suit? You're supposed to be wearing standard prison issue.

PARIS
(Combing her hair)
This old thing? It's from Barney's and it's off the rack. These are just rhinestones.

FOLEY
And where did you get the avocado face cream??

PARIS
All right, all right! My friend Nicole snuck me a few things during her visit. Isn't it enough that I'm here?

FOLEY
Miss Hilton -- I'm going to have to write this up and tell the warden. ...Hey! What’s this? You have a flat screen TV, an iMac, a wet bar, an exercise bike, a king-size bed and a sitting area! This cell is only 8 by 12, how did you do that?? You even have an ocean view!

PARIS
You're wearing me out with all these questions. Don't get all bent. What's your name by the way?

FOLEY
Well, it's Candace. They call me Candy for short.

PARIS
Look Candy, I've been noticing that your pores are large, and your eyes could use a lot more definition. You could probably use my help.

FOLEY
That's against regulations....I mean... Really? I mean, how much could you do with this mug?

Paris hands FOLEY a hand mirror through the bars.


PARIS
Let me show you how to be fabulous.


LYNWOOD PRISON, 1 HOUR LATER

Warden Smith is another prim, butchy woman and is making a round to check on everything. She see's Foley in a folding chair next to Paris' cell, face all tarted up with makeup.


SMITH
Officer Foley! This is a major infraction. You're supposed to be monitoring this sector. Instead, you're all made up like a cheap hooker.

PARIS
(Putting on finishing touches)
Hey! I take exception to that. This is what I wore on my last outing with my friend Britney.

SMITH
That's beside the point! ... Britney? Britney Spears? Are you two close? .... What is she like?

FOLEY
Pull up a chair -- she can tell you all about it. She says they never wear panties.

PARIS
(to SMITH)
Hey, your pores are looking large too. I have an Erno Laslow treatment just made for you.

SMITH
(reluctantly)
OK. Hey -- what are all these cameras doing here?

PARIS
Look, it's no big whoop. We're filming The Simple Life. It can't get much simpler than this...
***


This is all I have at this point. Will accept ideas for what should be the next scene...

© 2007 blogSpotter