Should Texas Secede?

Would Big Tex like to fly the coop? ... -- Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

by blogSpotter
Rick Perry is the long-serving, Democrat-turned-Republican Governor of Texas. He inherited the office in 2000 after “Shrub” was elected President. Perry, who had been elected Lieutenant Governor in 1998 inherited the role from Shrub. Perry is primarily known as a hardened fiscal and social conservative – his biggest legacy as governor will probably be the Legislature scrapes whereby he nearly let Texas public schools go unfunded. The glib, superficially handsome 57 year old stepped in it a bit last week during the conservatives’ “Tea Party” tax protest. He suggested that Texas could secede from the Union (having once been a Lone Star Republic) if Obama’s administration doesn’t do right.

I’ll preface this by saying that Perry’s tongue was firmly in cheek – he wasn’t serious. His remark was nevertheless heard around the world, and even became fodder for Jay Leno’s monologue. Voters even took him literally; Reuter’s polled Texas voters and found that 36% thank we have the right to secede and 25% said that we should secede.

Where to begin? In an episode of Family Guy, the Griffin family visits Texas – Texans are depicted as ultra-conservative, right wing nut job Christians. In fact, in one scene Texans are shown as braying donkeys. “How unfair” you might say, and you would be wrong. Texas is the state which perennially fights over the teaching of Darwin’s theory in public schools. Texas rushed to the fore to pass a Defense of Marriage Act nearly ahead of any other state when gay civil rights raised its “ugly” head – God forbid we would honor gay marriages or civil unions. Dallas, Texas is headquarters for some of the most obnoxious television ministries in the nation – where grossly pompadoured grifters bilk viewers for money using crocodile tears and miraculous touch healing.

Texas is now a hub for anti-immigrant emotions which have very nearly led to racial vigilantism and which now have us building a ridiculous fence along the Rio Grande to keep “them” out. Mr. Perry, please take down that wall lest you want us to resemble East Berlin in every major respect.

You know what? Perry, you should secede. Don’t let the door hit your turn-coat ass on the way out. And Texas? What can I say … I shouldn’t bite the hand of a balanced-budget state where I’m gainfully employed. Texas, watch your step. You have the reputation of an ultra-conservative, hard-ass KKK-loving, Jesus misquoting state of intolerant W. Bush-loving assholes. That is pretty well the long and the short of it. We’re not just a fly-over state, we’re a fly-to-avoid state. Can Texas be loved back to tolerance and understanding? Let Austin (minus the state “lege”) and Travis County be your conscience as well as your guide. Texas – shape up, There are seriously those among you who want the whole state to ship out.

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