Is Starbucks Too Pretentious?

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I'm a caffeine addict, and I have to get my Venti drip, room for cream, every afternoon. 24 ounces of brewed coffee. This week's blend is Yukon. Then, if I'm at West Village Starbucks in Uptown Dallas, I take my seat among the extremely beautiful, hip and well-dressed patrons around me.

This location is popular, so forget finding the best comfy chair or space at a table for your laptop. Just as well, because most of these people have 17" Powerbooks or the latest creations from Dell or HP. I have a 5-year old Toshiba that makes noises and looks like sensible shoes compared to these other sleek machines. When not logged on to T-mobile Hot Spot, these beautiful people whip out their Samsung global phones, to finish that conversation with a friend or lover that was left undone, prior to coffee time.

Looking around, the customers could be models for GAP, Banana Republic or J. Crew. The only one that might be having a bad hair day is me. It occurs to me, you really need to have a nice trendy outfit to really fit in. What is the allure? Why am I spending $1.95 for a 24 ounce coffee that would cost me 49 cents at Race Track? Conan O'Brien does nightly jokes on how expensive Starbucks is, and everyone laughs heartily. Then when the show is over, one can be sure, that they all go to Starbucks. Here are my coupla (new word) theories on it:

The Cadillac Syndrome: Sometimes the very best of something costs a fortune. Think BMW, yacht, mansion, designer clothes. Starbucks must represent some epitome of caffeine beverages, the summa cum laude of latte. But for a mere $1.95, you can be the best! Why be a cheap 49 cent date, when you can spring for the big two dollars?

The Don't-Want-To-Get-Drunk-But-Do-Want-To-Make-The-Scene Syndrome - In the 70's and 80's, people went to singles bars. The known diseases were curable with antibiotics, and AIDS was unknown. Out-of-control binging and bed-hopping were the behaviors of that bygone era. In the more sedate double-aughts (nobody has yet thought of a good name for the 00's) we are more cautious, more circumspect. We know that danger lurks in unprotected sex, and extreme intoxication is likelier to bring about unsafe behavior.

So, yes - Starbucks is terribly pretentious. How dare they laugh at my shoes! But I need another Venti drip (even the serving sizes are pretentious) and maybe a lemon crumb bar. I can catch up on the "Dallas Observer" and see what type of clothes and computers the sexy, beautiful people are into.