Bloatware

Greetings, I'm your next OS release

I use my computer for a number of things, (other than downloading porn, thank you :-) ). I use Microsoft Money for budgeting. Use MS Office for correspondence and Christmas cards. Use Internet Explorer extensively for online shopping - placing and tracking orders. I use iTunes to manage music and HP Photo shop for my digital photos. AOL gives me email for my communication needs.

Must say though, with the exception of a few "breakthrough" apps like iTunes, the way I use my PC, and what I require of it change very little over the years. Excel offered me everything I needed with Office 95. The same can be said for most of the other apps that I mentioned above – my needs haven’t changed much in 10 years. In earlier years, my computer would groan and struggle with a computation, or with loading in a file. “You need more RAM,” my techie friend would tell me. As most Americans, my hardware upgrades coincide with major OS software upgrades: Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows XP. When you can’t even install the new OS on your existing PC, time to upgrade memory or buy a new PC.

The fact is, when you upgrade, you’ll also be adding new OS and complementary software. And guess what? It still runs slow! That’s because new programs become voracious with each new release, making a larger footprint and consuming more memory. With Office releases, I’ll cite the three most touted improvements of recent years:

Visual Basic for applications
Internet Web Authoring
Collaboration software

I have absolutely no need for any of these. But I get them without asking, as part of the “standard offering”. My software becomes buggy, gigantic and bloated for no good reason. I dub this phenomenon “The Bloatware Phenomenon”. Now look what we are faced with. MS is planning its Longhorn release and Apple just came out with Tiger. Both companies have decided we need new “metaphors” and “paradigms” for data management. The old file and folder is too mundane. (Be very afraid when somebody changes your metaphors). We also seem to have a desperate need for “widgets” that give us weather and stock quotes. I have 4 easily clickable web sites to give that same info, but the widget appears to be the way to go now. Adding insult to injury, the OS upgrades frequently (maybe always?) bring along things that darken your experience – things you didn’t ask for. How about a complicated Windows Registry, time-consuming automated file indexing, license enforcement, and installation restrictions. Some of these “improvements” are for Microsoft’s benefit, not yours.


Break out the TUMS

So…. I have Office 2003 now. My relatively new, high-powered HP desktop PC, is brought to its knees when I even click on the startup icon. My bloatware theory stands. Am I looking forward to any more new releases of anything at all? Pardon my French, but HELL, no. What is needed now is a moratorium on all improvements. I’ve enjoyed the relatively long reign of Windows XP (2001-2005, and still counting). The marketing managers for new releases should have to submit to public polygraphs: “Is this really an improvement?” “Are you just trying to sell more crap?” The polygraph would run off the chart. The alternative is for a user to remain Stone Age, using the older OS, but you’ll soon be forced by new software releases to assimilate. So, pass the TUMS. Longhorn will be coming out next year, like it or not.